Posted 12/28/2010 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
Right now, it feels like I'm having a heart attack. I was laying in bed, and I got what I like to call the cold breath. You take a deep breath in and you feel your lungs get tingly. I shot straight up, scared my wife and started to call for the ride to the hospital. I had this INTENSE feeling and need to escape. My chest over my left pec hurts, my heart finally stopped racing. I have this overwhelming sense of doom. I haven't had it this bad since my very first one. This sucks so much. My whole body is achy right now. My cheast hurts, not bad just a dull thud. I hate this so much. I am doing my breathing and that sucks. I know this is panic. I know this is panic. I know this is panic. I am not going to fight it, I am going to let it run its course. The more I fight the more I fear, the more I fear the worse it gets. It dropped on me like an ANVIL. I had no time to put up my defenses. If it was a heart attack, I would not have been able to sit hear and type this. The pain I feel is not that of a heart attack. It is RAW untapped anxiety and fear. I have been on edge the last couple of days cause of the holidays, the usual stuff and I guess this was waiting in the wings. [img]/community/emoticons/shocked.gif[/img] It is so hard to sit here and stay calm while my body is screaming at me to get help. Every alarm I have in my head is going off. I got the butterflies in my stomache. I am not in control of this but along for the ride, I will ride this out and accept it.