dont know what to do so anxious

hi guys last time i was feelin like this you guys helped me so much so now that im feelin all those feelings come bak hopefully yall can help me out again well here it goes my husband told me a couple weeks ago that we were invited by his brothers wife to her house for a birthday party for his brother. th thing is that me and this girl dont get along at all theres a big story behind it so i dont wana go to her house and be fake but i dont want my husband to feel that im keeping him from his family i dont know what to do i know it seems stupid but th date is inching closer and th anxiety is getting worse .

Hi again V.B. Aahh, family dynamics...you've gotta them. Well, at least tolerate them! In-laws can be tricky relationships to navigate. I speak from experience...I'm sitting at my in-laws dining room table while I write this.

We are on vacation to my husband's home state. I have had to do the family thing all week. It's not easy, as we are really different in so many ways. When I chose my husband though, I also 'chose them'.

I don't know what your particular conflict is about, but like Kitt said, preparing mentally is the key. If your SIL tries to start a confrontation, have some neutralizing responses prepared. Saying something like, "That's interesting, let me think about it." allows you to walk away and avoid trouble. Or maybe taking the high road and contacting her ahead of time to clear the air and resolve the issue would be good.

Setting a time limit on the visit might also allow you to bear the event easier. Say you and your husband agree to stay ununti l0...by 9:30 you'll know you're in the home stretch, and the unpleasantness isn't indefinate!

Like Kitt said, remember you are doing this as as an act of love for your husband. If you keep him and all of the things he does for you in mind, you'll be a gracious party guest:)



Good luck, and let us know how it goes,
Scaredy Cat

violet,

I am so glad to hear you extended your hand to your SIL at least for the one evening.  That makes you a very kind and loving wife. I know a lot of people who would not have been so generous.

I am proud to know you and admire your true grit.

Kindly,

Kitt