Monday Blues

Having a down day today - even in terms of these days not be fufilling because I'm looking

for a better work/financial situation and what I am doing now is not even remotely what I

need. That being said I want to rest up, because tomorrow I need to take a margin of the

day to commit to this job (although I inherently do not like it) because I need $. The only

meds I take are xanax and just for sleep- now and then during the day - if I feel stressed.

I see a counselor who I feel confortable with who feels I have good incite about my issues

which are gad, looking for good work and interpersonal relationships. These are venting

sessions  with her providing a sounding board and giving affirmation to my thoughts and

feelings. Beyond this(althouigh I do see its value) I feel this is repetative and its time for

me to move ahead and jump into the water. After todays session it feels a bit tired. I really

need to find meaningful work because idle time while making you broke makes me too

focused on myseilf and not the best person to be around. Also, the ideas the therapist

comes up with I well know myself - nothing enlightening. Maybe venting at this point is

helping stay too much on the issues instead of trying to find some solutions. Thinking of

problems leaves me stuck there. I think I need to move on and not be so hard on myself.

Any advice?

 

Hi Subzeromambo,

Thanks for your input. Mondays can be difficult as the realities of the your
world are apparant after the weekend. I took heed of your advice about
what I am thankful for in my life and will think of it today and try not to
stress on the negative - a habit I have. Getting back to my original post
besides venting I think my weekly appts. just give me something to do -
I just need a change and ihat envolves overcoming some anxiety, and trying
some new things.

For some reason talk therapy never helped me. St. Kitt encouraged me to try cognitive behavioral therapy. Learning techniques to fight the negative mind chatter has been extremely helpful. I am working on identifying warped thinking that makes me think things are worse than they are. It has been very challenging but I am making some headway. The byproduct has been that searching for a new job doesn't make me feel like a failure anymore. I am actually feeling excited about finding a better job. Still a little scared and anxious, but a lot better than before.

Hi Subzeromambo again,

I can relate because as we speak I am trying to make a living but
am underemployed, not getting interviews and have no help ( although
it could be alot worse). As I was walking somewhere I took inventory
of my feelings and I realized its not healthy to feel this way - no, I wouldnt say I was anxious - just annoyed, unfufilled and just the feeling
that I'm wasting time and by doing so - money. As far as CBT my therapist just affirms my feelings , gives her opions and lets me vent
which is important but this is getting a bit old and repetative - most
of the stuff has been gone over and over. But its satisfying when she
confirms my ideas about the garbage people will give you in the business world - we all need validation. Just the same, I think one
more time and I will see if I keep quiet if she has anything else to
offer me; I mentioned CBT one time she said not relative because
I was so self aware. I need to help my own situation repeating for the most part same things does not help after awhile.

Kitt,
I am sorry you had a lousy Monday. A whole day of conflict can be exhausting! I hope your Tuesday was much better. You are always doing sp much to support everyone else. A big hug to you!

Hi Smilingrose,
First of all I am very thankful for people like you and this forum which I find supportive.
Just knowing there are other people like you guys means a lot. I hear your advice re.
talking to a freind and I have some although less than I used to, but they have their
own issues and cant really offer much in terms of advice. I have expressed some issues
to one such individual and just got "mellow out" and "theres jobs out there - its just a
matter of time". I know they mean well but this indiv. has not worked in yrs. and is
heavily medicted, my parents are elderly and have enough health problems,and my
significant other trys their best but does not want to hear "negative" talk. I realize
that my pattern of GAD behavior- if anything I have a better understanding of it after
yrs. of it being a mystery and I must use all my assets to help myself. As far as the
therapist,useful to vent - but after a while going over same is useless- will mention
CBT - perhaps they are not equiped to do this and I should look into myself.