Two years free of anxiety, but now...

Hey folks,

It has been many many moons since I posted at or viewed HealingWell's APD board (last time was January 2009 I think). First and foremost, how are things with everybody else?

And now, the flu:

Last Wednesday (3/9), I had been at work for a few hours. It was just hitting noon so folks were heading out to grab lunch etc. I opted to eat at my desk and work that day, as I had been sick with a sinus infection the week before and I was still playing catch-up. I realized after a little bit of time that I was coughing for no reason, and it was getting worse. For me this is always an ominous warning of the flu. Sure enough, by Wednesday evening, six hours later, I was as weak as a sheet of paper, high fever, bad nausea etc. I was bedridden again for the next four days.

Yesterday afternoon was supposed to be my three year anniversary with my girlfriend, but due to me being sick, we had to cancel our plans. I could tell she was disappointed and I felt very bad; bad enough that I began to feel that familiar hot flash and then panic. Since yesterday I've been grappling severe panic attacks again and the nausea has gone through the roof. I suspect a positive feedback loop (I already felt pretty sick to my stomach, which helped make me anxious, the more anxious I feel, the sicker my stomach feels, which makes me feel more anxious etc).

So, does anybody have any good methods to break out of such a loop? Also, has anybody had a significant lull in their anxiety/panic only to have it unexpectedly come rushing back? Has it ever surfaced as a result of a bad illness where you've been bedridden and away from your routine too long?

Thoughts and empathy would be most welcome. It always helps to know I'm not alone!

Thanks,
Blue

I'm sorry to hear that your panic has returned. It's so miserable to be doing well for a period of time and then have the panic swoop back in. For me, illness can definitely trigger the anxiety again, for the exact reasons that scaredy cat mentioned. And it seems that once you have one jolt of panic, many of the symptoms and the memories of what you've been through return so quickly that it's hard to get your footing again. I agree with SC that you need to first get yourself well and then use whatever methods work for you to move through the panic. For me the hardest part is accepting that it's back and that I have to begin using the cbt again. It's a frustrating and somewhat depressing place to be in!

Just remember that you've gotten through this before and you can do it now!

Hope you feel better soon!