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This time it's put me rock bottom ......!

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Posted 4/19/2011 11:28 PM (GMT 0)

hi there everyone .......first time user here of this forum...!

over the past few years any little problem iv had with my body become's a very serious illness in my head untill iv had every test done then i forget all about it and i feel great again ...!

but this time iv hit rock bottom and cant snap out of it...

about a month ago i started getting a dull ache right near my breast bone but i didnt worry straight away because i do suffer from GORD...!heartburn/acid reflux....

after a few days it didnt go away and the serious worrying begun again i also started getting dull ache's across my chest area and down my right arm and the felling of being tired all the time.

so i went to the doctor and told him about my worrying about serious things and he check me all over and everything seemed normal so he gave me some of my normal tablets i take for my GORD and said see me in 2 weeks .

well after a few days the dull ache in breastbone area had gone but all the other aches were still there every now and then. so the worring got worst and shortness of breath started too and a panic attack.

so i went back to the doctor about it i told the doctoc that i was worrying about serious thing such as cancer....because of dull aches down my ribcage and lung area..  she said she wanted to do a ECG on my heart just because of the shortness of breath side of things ......

so i go back for the results and everything seemed just fine ...so now my brains telling me it must be something else and the doctor new my worrying was getting worse so he  said ok ill send you for a full blood test and blood count test ..

went back for the results and he said to me he wants to see me again in 5 weeks( now im panicing) just to repeat the blood count test because my lymphocytes in my white blood cells were very very slightly high due to a viral infection everything else on my blood test was fine even my complete white blood cells were in the scale of where there ment to be.

well 5 days into the 5 week wait for new blood tests i couldnt cope because i was worrying really bad and was in tears most of the time thinking i was dying so my wife rang my doctor and said she was worried about the state i was in ... and he got me in straight away for new blood test because of my anxiety was really bad and depression was kicking in .......! he also did say that new blood test should be repeated after a month to give infections or other things to settle right down so he was'nt exspecting much difference in the lymphocyte counts ...

well new results came back more or less the same... so luckly a very close family member works in my local hospital spoke to some in the blood's department and told them about the state i was getting myself in and got one of the blood doctor's to give me a ring about explaining my results to me and he did .....

 and he also ran a couple of other test's with my blood to try and find out whats causing my lymphocytes to be raised very slightly (viral test) which was negative ...so now my minds saying (if its not viral what the bloody hell is it????) and he ran a sinister test to look for cancer or leukemia and that was negative ......! so now i must wait 6/8 weeks for another blood test just to make sure the lymphocytes have gone back down to normall or has the doc said it just maybe the way my mine are...!

but i really cant get it into my head that every doc iv spoke to have said its more than likely to be due to a viral or bacterial infection ....

at this moment there are no positives in my thoughts iv stopped everything i enjoy doing i dont want to be out of the house and i feel sick all the time so im not eating that well ...

can anxciety and despession really do this to my body ???????????

and would a doctor leave it 6/8 weeks if he thought it was anything bad ??????

i really im struggling this time .....!

sorry to go on but i just wanted to speak to someone about how my mind is working at this time ....

thanks for reading ......!

Posted 4/20/2011 4:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Lennon and welcome to the A/P forum! Well, you are not alone in your constant worry in regards to health. So many of us here have 'Health Anxiety', and we know exactly what you are going through.

First of all, let me give you some reassurance about the things that you are experiencing, and then I will give you my recommendations as far as how to get help.

Yes, anxiety can make you feel as physically sick as anyone with a serious illness. That is precisesly why the health anxiety starts in the first place. How could one not fear a dreaded disease when one feels so horrible!

As far as your blood tests go, many people don't fit into the 'in range' criteria for 'normal' These numbers are simply an average of a cross section of the population, and as long as they are not really far off the optimal range, it is still considered healthy. I have always been slighty low in WBCs and RBCs, and recently my MCV was slighty high.

Two doctors have told me that this could just be normal for me. Since I am healthy otherwise, and since these numbers have been this way for years, I am choosing to believe that.

It is important of course to have these test regularly, but when you start repeating these tests compulsively, things are getting out of control and it will only feed the anxiety.

Since all of your other tests have come back fine, what are the chances really, that this one thing that you are worrying about, turns out to be serious?

Okay, as far as getting help. Have you sought therapy? If not, it can be extremely effective in treating this disorder. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is a great place to start. It will teach you to combat those negative and scary thoughts, into more rational and positive thinking. Ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist who offers this treatment. Talking to your doctor about your anxiety issues is a good idea anyway, as you may want to discuss medication as well.

I hope that this gives you some comfort and ideas. I have been where you are, and been helped by the therapy that I mentioned! You will probably hear from other members as well, you aren't alone:)

Take care, and let us know how you are getting on soon,
Scaredy Cat
Posted 4/20/2011 7:28 AM (GMT 0)
Hi scaredy cat many thanks for the reply ....!
I just don't understand how anxiety can and depression can cause all these bad feelings in my body .
As I said this time I'm convinced that iv got something bad and I really do need to get these thoughts out of my head NOW ..!
Most people who were told by there doctor that there's nothing wrong and its most likely to be a viral infection would just get on with there life whilst waiting for 6/8weeks but I really can't ....!
I feel like I'm going mad I really must try and get hold of this I'm only 30 and iv got a wife and 3 kids to be there for ...!
To give examples how my brains working at the mo iv not been eating at all well for the last 2 weeks and iv lost a couple of pounds but my minds saying your losing the weight because your I'll ..........NOT GOOD ....!
My doctor has gave me some forms to fill out about speaking to someone about my anxiety and depression so iv filled them out and sent so hopefully I'll here back from them very soon and I can get things moving so hopefully some positive thoughts will be on there way back to my brain ..!

Thanks again for reading my posts and talking to me about this ....!
Posted 4/20/2011 10:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Lennon

Welcome to the forum glad you found us. S.C has given you some great advise and I agree CBT would be a good thing to do. Take care and keep us posted.

Hibee
Posted 4/20/2011 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
Lennon190206

Hello and welcome to HealingWell. Yes, anxiety and depression can make you feel this way - I am living proof of that. I understand how you came to believe what you now believe.
When your fears have the best of you, it is easy to feel that things will not get any better. This is not true. Each time I have been in your place and the testing is all done I have learned to just leave the worry in the past and move forward knowing I have had all the tests and the Drs. have not discovered anything so I move ahead. Is it easy - No.
I was very glad to read that you have a great Dr. who listens to you and runs the test as well as follow ups with you. He sounds like a very kind and caring physician.
I agree with SC and Hibee re the CBT program for anxiety.
Diaphragmatic breathing can be extremely helpful in eliminating the worst part of anxiety. Taking slow deep breathes without moving your chest but moving your abdomen when you inhale. hold your breath for a few seconds and slowly exhale while your abdomen goes back to its initial position. Make sure you don't move your chest (rib cage) when you inhale and exhale. Do the exercise for about 5 minutes and you will notice the big difference.
Stick with us as we are here to support and offer friendship to you.
Kindly,
Kitt
Posted 4/20/2011 2:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there .... Thanks everyone for finding the time to reply to me ....!

I'm going to try everything I can to get the right help for myself .....!
Hopefully when I have the new blood tests done in 6/8 weeks they will all be normal and I can try and get on with my life again but from now and till then it's going to be very hard ...!

I was wondering what sort of aches and pains can you get from GERD or a hietis hernia (spelling bad sorry ) ...!

There does seem to be a routine with the aches and pains tho ..... Like first thing in the
Morning I just feel sick with nerves then whenever I try and eat just after I get aches around my breastbone .. ribs and middle of
My back ...... Then they seem to slow right down after a while ....... The aches in my right arm comes and goes some day's and other day's it's not there....! In the evenings when I do try to relax I do feel much better ...! But I dredd waking in the
Mornings because I no that my first thoughts will be something bad....!

I must admit I really must stop googling my symtoms
Because all it ever gives is the worst news .... Such as when I type in raised lymphocytes it came up with leukemia everywhere .....! Scary scary stuff ....!
But there's also stuff saying about it's
Most likely due to infections but my brain only reads the bad .....!

Sorry to go on again ....! :-(
Posted 4/20/2011 2:34 PM (GMT 0)
the mornings are often the hardest times for those suffering from anxiety. The reason, is that the body produces a stress hormone called Cortisol at its highest level upon waking. The purpose is to get the body up and moving, after the hours of being asleep.
The problem comes when an individual is either overly sensitive, or porduces too much of this hormone, and anxiety naturally increases. This would also explain your GI symptoms, as that is all affected by stress.
As far as your other concern...No googling! You already know that, but a reminder is in ordersmile It will only lead to more worry! Remember the blood count in my CBC that I told you about? Mine also said it could be...guess what?...Leukemia. I think that if you googled 'itchy teeth' you would be diagnosed with it as well! You just have to trust your dr.s, and ultimately believe that everything is going to be allright. The only thing that is really telling you otherwise is your own fear.
I am glad that you are reaching out for help. You are doing the right things, and it will get better I promise. We are here for you. Check out
our Anxiety/Panic Resources post at the top of the page for some great links to breathing/relaxation exercises. They will be helpful to yousmile
Take care,
Scaredy Cat
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