Posted 6/1/2011 6:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone, I am new here and am really hoping you all can help me. I understand I am asking for a lot without helping any of you at this point, but here is my story, thank you all in advance:
For as long as I can remember I have had and very difficult time with fireworks. I have come a long way however. When I was young I could not handle them at all, screaming, crying, hiding, and threatening to hurt myself and others. I am now 27 and can handle going to a professional display with no problems. I still have a crippling problem with the thought of unexpected firecrackers, bottle rockets etc when I am at home, friend’s backyards, or especially walking to my home from the car. If I do hear them i do not have the crazy adverse reactions like I used to though, but instead i am consumed with trying to avoid hearing them again. (sleeping in interior bathroom of house, tvs turned up in every room, making wife let the dogs out, and over all stress) . I also have a habit of researching all things fireworks when I start to think about being worried about hearing them. To make the matter harder to figure out, if I hear a loud noise and then realize it is not a firework, I am fine. I have attempted hypnosis for relation and acupuncture with mixed results. Acupuncture actually got me to the point of setting off fireworks myself last year, which was a huge step. I have also tried seeing a physiatrist who diagnosed me with OCD and prescribed citalopram. It worked with limited success but I choose to stop after realizing my Dr. had no real interest in helping me and gave me the impression that she thought the whole fear of hearing them was silly. (I actually obtained citaloram again from another office but did not stick with the treatment as I did not think the amount it was helping me justified the side effects.) It is now getting to the time of year where this problem of mine really begins to drive me crazy. To add to the stress of it this year my wife is due with our first child on June 28th, the time I am most stressed by this issue. I want more than anything to have this erased from my head and to function like a normal person, especially with my son around in his first days of life. The thought of feeling like I usually do in the time I should be helping my wife and loving him makes me furious. Any thoughts or suggestions would be great and appreciated in ways I cannot express.