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The Anxiety of WriterBlock

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Posted 6/9/2011 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Perhaps this is just for me to say it somewhere among like-minded individuals.

I have chronic anxiety and panic disorder, OCD, hypochondria, and a bunch of other things without names. This isn't about that either, I suppose.

I have just been having a really difficult time with my anxiety as of late. I had a period of time recently where I was trying to lose weight and get into shape; I was successful, mostly. However, the root of my anxiety lies in my fear of catching an incurable disease. Now, up until about a week and a half ago, I was working out regularly. Now that I've stopped, I've noticed that I've lost weight, and it scares me.

My weight is healthy, and it was the result of hard work, but now I've got this feeling that me losing weight is a symptom of something serious. So now I'm trying to gain weight again, but I've been so anxious that I haven't been able to eat. And when I do, I tend to binge on unhealthy things, which makes my stomach upset.

So, in my head, I have weight loss, loss of appetite, and upset stomach--things indicating a more serious illness that I, in all likelyhood, don't have.

It's really hard to explain, but I guess I'm wondering how others deal with that cycle. I worked out to make myself feel better, but now I'm feeling worse because I was doing better...etc...

I don't like looking at my life through symptoms, and I feel like I'm constantly focusing on why I do something (Is my energy down? I must be fatigued. No appetite? Can't sleep? Are those cold sweats?). It'd be really nice to just stop the way my mind thinks.

If you've followed this far, I should say that I'm on zoloft for the 3rd week in a row after some not-as-diligent medication taking. How long should I wait for the constant anxiety to subside? Has the on and off medication kinda screwed with my body a bit?

Like I said, I really like the idea of talking to other people who might share some of my mental "quirks."

Let me know.

-K
Posted 6/9/2011 2:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Writerblock,

I'm sorry to hear you are having an especially difficult time with anxiety lately.

Congratulations on your recent weigh-loss success!

The fear of contracting an incurable disease is fairly common among us anxious folk. Luckily, actually contracting such an ailment is very, very rare.

Continued weight-loss, even after a period of rest from working out is not uncommon. Muscle weighs more than fat; so if you are not producing more muscle, combined with a lack of appetite, it is no wonder you are continuing to lose weight. However, if you are experiencing rapid weight-loss without change to your diet, please get checked by a physician.

As for you fear of currently having a serious illness, you already know why you have a low-level appetite (anxiety) and why you get an upset stomach (unhealthy binge eating), so I do not think you have anything to worry about.

Working out is a great way to help control anxiety. The best way (that I'm aware of) to break your troubling cyclic thought patterns is to use CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) in which you learn to systematically replace mistaken beliefs or negative thoughts with more positive/realistic ones. You can find plenty of information about this type of therapy on this website and around the Internet, as well as how to implement some of the techniques yourself.

It can take medications like Zoloft up to 3 months for you to truly start feeling their benefits, so be patient. Also, if you want to get the full benefits of your medication, it is of utmost importance that you take them as prescribed AND regularly.

If you like talking to other people who share some of your mental quirks, I suggest you check out the chat room. If no one is there, you can still log in and someone is likely to join you. Otherwise, the busiest times seem to be the evening, especially late at night (a lot of insomniacs around;)).

Good Luck,

DarkWolf
Posted 6/9/2011 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
Good Morning,

Dark Wolf said it very well.  I have anxiety and depression hanging around for 29 years.  I am my own critic and beat myself up frequently for not being able to just deal with things and not over think any aches or pains. 

My therapist asked me last week, " And what are you not going to do anymore?"  Ok, ok,  I will not feel guilty that my anxiety is hurting others.  I will not have to explain why I can't just get over things.  I am a work in progress.

Be Well,

Kitt 

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