First time poster w/ severe anxiety/OCD. Just looking for some help.

Hi Tabby and welcome! I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with anxiety and social phobia right now. This is a problem that we see a lot with people your age who are trying to deal with so much going on in their lives! This is a time of transition, with many changes and decisions concerning life direction. Add to that your parent's split and estrangement, and it's no wonder you are feeling anxious!

You seem to have a good perspective on this though. You recognize that your fears are not actually the reality. You know that you are not 'crazy', but that this is a fear that bothers you in relation to how others perceive you. Social phobia and anxiety are both treatable, and I think that you would benefit from a simple course of therapy.

In therapy you will learn to combat the fearful/negative thoughts that hinder your socializing, and will gain confidence. It will also help you in battling the panic attacks and general anxiety.

Ask for a referral from your regular dr., or look into any programs that your school may offer. You can also check out our Anxiety Resource Guide, which has many excellent links, including an on-line therapy site.

In the meantime, try not to avoid your social invitations. If you are feeling nervous about talking, take on the role of listener. People appreciate those who can listen, and that will give you an oppurtunity to interact on a more one-on-one basis, which may be easier for you.

Observing is another good tactic. Not everyone in the group has to be a talker. Think about the cool/quiet person who simply sits with the sly grin on his/her face, only occasionally adding some remark here and there...ever consider that they are actually shy? Maybe not, cause they just came off as laid-back!

Good luck and keep posting here with us. This is a great place for support, information and connecting with those who understand what you are going through.
Scaredy Cat

I would say that parts of us (confidence, assertiveness, resilience, ect) get supressed as a result of anxiety. To say that is is lost is to infer that it can't come back, and it certainly can with treatment!

If you can get into therapy either with a therapist/school counselor, or through an on-line/self-help method, you will naturally start to feel more like yourself.

Anxiety is something that I still have to manage, but through treatment, I have made it back to where I want and need to be. I have even found new courage and strength that I didn't have before I ever faced true anxiety and panic. I think that those who have dealt with these struggles and faced them down are stronger than those who have never experienced them.

Your confidence is not lost, just temporarily misplaced. Go out and get the help that you need to uncover it again...it will be the best gift that you can give to yourself:)
S.C.