Oh Boy. Here we go again

I am tired of waking up anxious. I have gotten myself so worked up today that I can tell I'm on the verge of a full blown attack. My mind won't stop. I keep telling myself reassuring things. I keep trying to deep breath. It's like there is all this negative energy that needs to get out. I know I should exercise, but I can't get myself to do it. Right now, my heart is racing. I'm feeling lightheaded. I really hate this. I know it will pass. I just hate feeling all alone. Why does this have to happen to us? I look back a year from now and I can hardly recognize myself. I lost all of my strength. Who is this scared child who has children of her own? It's like I've lost faith in myself. Why? Why am I so weak. I should be happy and care free. Three beautiful children who I get to stay home with. Good husband. Used to be great, but in the past year we are drifting apart a bit:(. I am so lost and alone. Thank you all for being there. For your support.