Alone

The reason why I am writing this, well the reason why I joined, was because of my Family, and my HORRIBLE Anxiety.

My Mom and Dad always scream at me, when Im upstairs taking a harmless shower, to doing the laundry. They always find something to yell at me for. My dads in the army so he's really strict. Everyday my mom tells me to watch my siblings while she smokes, do the dishes, or vaccuum everything. While my dads away the only thing my mom tells him is how bad we are. When he's home he doesnt even give me a hug. He sits down and yells at me for giving my mother so much grief. Im doing bad in school just because of everybody screaming at me. I try my best to get everything perfect so that I can have one day where my mom could thank me.

My mom always tells me how she wishes she never had kids, or that shes going to leave us with our dad and go marry a new man with money and be successful in life. Im constantly writing those angry letters and throwing them away. But that stopped when my mom found one and grounded me for a week for "lie-ing". Im always afraid that when I go to school Im going to come home to an empty house with a note on the door saying I told you so. I've almost ran away twice but stopped myself because of my siblings, and what she would do to me when I came home. I have panic attacks when she leaves without saying anything, and when my dad calls and he doesnt even want to talk to me. I just REALLY need some help.