Hi All,
Its been a while since I have felt a need to post, vent. I will
try to be concise, sometimes I am hesitant cause I feel like
I will be here forever.
Basically my back is against the wall because I have found it
very difficult to get job. Part of this is my own fault cause when
I left position (after being there for 9 yrs), I did not ask for
documentation, a recommendation. To be honest, although I
was collecting a good income and when I visited my accounts
I did a professional job - I was not into it. I have learned the
hard way that you always have to look forward as they had
hired a real cut - throat person some time before I was let go
who would eventually get all my accounts. I was complacent
and if I was more ambitious I would have looked for something
that made me more content a long time before.
Of course my generalized anxiety, social anxiety which i have
come to understand pretty well, and have discussed previously,
to the point where I feel I am being rhetorical, figures in. Even
when I was financially doing pretty well ( I also had a second
job for 20 yrs. - until a year ago) I remember feeling nervous
and anxious quite a bit. Ironically, now in this situation I am
much calmer! But as I said thats cause I have a read on
things. No thanks to my last therapist, who was a joke.
Well, this is getting long and I am starting to bore myself.
Here is a question for you guys: When I realized how much
I needed a written reference I contacted previous employer
( this was 1 1/2 yrs later) and asked them if they could give
me some kind of reference. They were enthusiastic and said
sure and to contact them in a week. Subsequentially, they
avoided my phone calls and two letters which were over a
reasonable amount of time and were professional ,
underlining the importance of the reference. How can someone
be so disingenious? Anyone ever experience this? I did not
leave on bad terms, in fact the person said I represented
the company well ( although they were not really familiar
with my work in field sales as my "boss" who really knew
me had left the company). How do I get past this? Also, after
getting fed up I called one last time and had not so nice
commentto the cust service person regarding the owner
speaking to me ( did not use foul language or yell).
Besides all this is the fact that I perhaps would want to change
my line of work from sales. I am at a time where I want to be
happy with what I do and not waste time. Where anxiety is
not the only factor was that I got lazy collecting a paycheck
rather than being realistic about my viability to that company
(either adjust or find something different, be brave and follow
my heart). By the way I could have worked on a different career
even when I had both incomes.
Sorry for long post. Any advice on what to do regarding former
employer? Thanks and all the best to everyone.