How do I cope with this...Warning...cancer info

Hi Shannon

Good to see you back we have missed you. Good to read you have been working on your anxiety and keeping busy but sorry to here your health anxiety has kicked in, I have been having problems with mine as well.

That is not good news about your brother and I understand the dilemma you are in, He was really nasty towards you a few months ago and has not been there to support you. Family issues can always be hard at times and siblings can often not get on with each other I have had problems with my brother in the past but saying that I would always be there if he needed me.

If it was me I would give him a call and see how things go it would be a shame if he passes and you had not resolved the issues, This is just my view. It is understandable that your health anxiety has kicked in over this so maybe a trip to your doctor would put your mind at rest.

We are here for you Shannon so keep us posted so we can offer you support. Take care of yourself.

Hibee

Hello hibee and Benny, gosh I've missed you guys...thank you for all the words of support and encouragement, and no Benny I haven't left you guys..how could I your all my family.I have been doing cbt with my therapist and working on my health anxiety....and up until today I've been doing really well..... And your right Benny I have to process this new information...it's really thrown me for a six...I even had to take some Valium to calm down, haven't had to do that for about two months.....

I feel so sorry for my brother because I am not a hateful person, and I don't believe that any one should suffer...and he has had to live thru the deaths of both his brothers and our dad like I have....and I know he is so afraid of dying....and now he has to face this final battle without all of us in his life.....I know that I will talk to him, I just couldn't today..it was just too much of a shock...I am also thinking how to tell my mum....she has dementia so she doesn't take everything in...But she has already buried two sons so this might be too much for her to process..

Why does life have to be so hard? Well what do they say...god never sends you more than you can handle...ok lord no more....:))...and no I will never give up my battle with anxiety..it is my monster and I will get rid of it one day...and I will find a positive out of all this...maybe the positive is that he's sorry and wants his family back...I don't know...I'm seeing my dr tommorrow so I will have a talk to her too....thank you my friends....you as always make so much sense to me and my frazzled brain...hugs to you...your friend shannon

Hi Shannon

I am a bit up and down at the moment, I completed some group therapy was I found really useful and meet some nice new friend through the group. I have been really stressed last week and this week due to getting things sorted for my employment tribunal claim and also providing information to HR who are investigating my grievance against my employer re bullying.

I think the high stress levels and anxiety have really affected my general health and my body aches all over to cut things short. I have had lots of tests and have still not got to the bottom of what is going on although my doctor still suspects Ankylosis Spondylosis and has referred me to a Rheumatologist.

Glad to see you back I was just thinking the other day how you were getting on keep us updated my friend.

Hibee

Hi Shanny, I am so glad that you are back, although saddened to hear of your news. I was going to e-mail you in the next week or so if you hadn't popped back in, so it's good to have you posting again.

I think it important to remember (and WM touched on this) that the circumstances that you are dealing with would cause anyone anxiety. Sometimes we get down on ourselves for not being able to 'control it', because that has been the goal all along right? Manage the anxeity...that's what we are taught...what we strive for, but sometimes it is just what it is...a huge big deal that is going to cause us to be anxious.

Maybe if we give ourselves a break for a moment, and just accept that the situation sucks and is making us stressed, then we can deal with it without feeling the guilt of 'failure'.

I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am for another round of bad news. Your family certainly has been through it. I think it is natural to ask 'why so much?' I certainly would be. I wish you strength, acceptance, peace, comfort and rest (somehow!) during this time. I also wish you peace of mind and heart that you have done the right thing, and will continue to do so, because it is just in your nature as a person:)

Keep posting here with us, we are here with you through this.
XOXOXO
S.C.

Shinny, from reading your posts, I think your heart wants to be with your brother. Sometimes, it takes the other person to be bigger ah, "man up" "be the wise" than who it should be. He cares about you, jsut has a hard time showing it.

You know my mom and I never got along, and we hardly talk. Back in July, I had really bad complications while "being under" (put to sleep by doctors) and I almost died. Before I went under, I had my dad come, told him I loved him and everyone and told him I loved mom and she will always be my mom. For the next week, I was in and out of conciousness and in ICU. When i started recovering, my mom came and saw me. She told me she loved me and was sorry that she couldnt really show how much she loved me.

Another story, My other half, had a brother whom he had not spoken to in years, disowned him, not even a picture of him. He got a call saying his brother was dying. He went to the hospital, where his brother was in a coma and stayed in the waiting area. He called me up and woke me up. I of course, freaked out thought he was the patient, and was worried. He got me to realize it was his brother, not him. I reassured him, went back to sleep. I had dreams, saw his brother, and saw him pass away. The next day I went up to my man (long distance relationship) and told him he was going to go to his brother and say he forgave him and loved him. He refused, but I was very stubborn and he gave in. I even told him imagine it was me laying on the bed. He did it, didnt like it but did. his brother did pass away shortly after, with having some closure.

Just think about it. What does your heart say? Is whatever happened really worth it?