How to stop worrying about things not in your control

wearyRAsufferer

Veteran Member

Joined : Mar 2010

Posts : 2955

Posted 9/23/2011 2:02 AM (GMT 0)

How do I do this?
I think somewhere along the line I learned to worry about things hard and long in hopes that it would make me worthy of mercy that would protect me and make things turn out alright.

I try the Let Go Let God mantra, I have great faith but I know that His will may not be my will and bad outcomes may happen regardless of faith.

I'm having a terrible issue with a young adult child. Will not take direction or help and will be screwing up future because of this.

I'm not sleeping well, having trouble concentrating at work and I am just consumed with this problem.

hazelnut86

Veteran Member

Joined : Aug 2009

Posts : 1249

Posted 9/23/2011 3:57 AM (GMT 0)

i have the same problem. i also have a young adult child - he just turned 18 and moved to his dads about a year ago. he just had a wreck in his truck and rolled it (did not get hurt) and then just hit a fence in his new truck last weekend. nobody told me about either wreck but he finally did. somehow he has survived unharmed and i had people telling me that i have no control over what happens anyway so don't bother worrying. someone is protecting him so far!!

it's soooo very hard i know but it's just something you have to let go of. i'm learning slowly. you have to let the young adults make their own mistakes because they have to learn how to live with their decisions. it's part of life.

i am the worst worrier and if i focus on how much i miss my son, i go crazy. i try to focus on my younger son and work and other things. it's HARD though i know.

i still worry but not as much. you have to just allow yourself to have peace with everything. somehow, everything will turn out okay and it it doesn't you have to deal with it then. you just have to try to think more positively.

and talk to a counselor if you can or a friend. it helps me alot. spend your time on ecouch and do CBT online. it will help take your mind off of things.

worrying is something everyone does. just don't let it consume you. you have to put yourself first and know that YOU are worthy of peace in your heart. i know it sounds stupid but it's something you have to practice. take some benadryl to sleep if you need to and take care of yourself. everything will fall into place. i promise.

Scaredy Cat

Elite Member

Joined : Sep 2006

Posts : 28868

Posted 9/23/2011 2:31 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Weary:) You hit the nail on the head with the word 'control' That is the thing for me as well. I can't stand the feeling of being'out of control'!

But if you think about it, no one ever really is...letting go of the need to control things has helped me a lot.

HN has given you some great advice, I just wanted to add my empathy and support. You have given your child(ren) over to His care, and while you keep them in prayer, that is all that you can do for now. Worrying about it is just going to affect your mental and physical health:(

Kids find their way, it may not be the path that we would see them on, but have faith, that through the rough patches, they will come out allright:)

Peace be yours,
Scaredy Cat

wearyRAsufferer

Veteran Member

Joined : Mar 2010

Posts : 2955

Posted 9/24/2011 1:36 AM (GMT 0)

Thank you both for your kind words and support. It helps so much just to be understood.

There is CBT online? Please provide the website.

Thanks so much,

Weary

Scaredy Cat

Elite Member

Joined : Sep 2006

Posts : 28868

Posted 9/24/2011 3:21 AM (GMT 0)

Here you go...

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

There is also free on-line therapy through ecouch, but I am not as familiar with that site.

S.C.

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