Big Hiatus..hope I haven't been forgotten

I don't remember if I had mentioned in my very first post that I was being laid off from my job of 8 years. Saturday is my last day and since the beginning of August I've been having attacks and mood swings everyday. After finally having enough of the constant "Thinking I was dying" moments of some disease or cancer. Knowing I wasn't going to have insurance at the end of the month and I have been irregular. My mother put in my head that I had ovarian cancer (she never said she thought I did. I already had that thought in my head and brought it up. It was just the look on her face) So naturally of course I made a drs appt. I just had to ease my mind because I've been Dr. Google free since I joined this board. And I was really about to start googling so anyway during this time my boyfriend found out 3 weeks prior that he was getting laid off too on the 15th. I finally lost it and had a breakdown (almost caused my boyfriend and I to break up). It was horrible and it was time to get some help and get on some depression meds. So my dr prescribed me zoloft and I was wondering if any of you have ever taken it? What was your experience with it? He wouldn't prescribe me any anti-anxiety meds he wanted me to call my PCP so he could follow me. I'm thinking to myself I'm not a drug addict (I know you don't know that) but all I wanted was a month just to control the anxiety I'm going to have when I don't have a job anymore. I'm not good at change....at all, especially this kind of change. The first biggest change 2 years ago was the break up of a 7 year relationship that to this day cannot get over which causes most of the anxiety too. But anyway, this job was all I had left of my "Old life that I loved"....my first love, my first car, my first time living on my on, first real job. . . .All this at the age of 19. I felt so big and independent and I finally found someone I loved and had almost everything. Now I'm 27 in my "New life that I "kind of" love but hate" .....MFL leaves me, I get in a relationship with someone who I really can't have feelings for but I love which doesn't make quite much since (because I'm still in love with my ex), My new boyfriend totals my car (I made sure he was ok first then I was going to choke him) (had a lot of sentimental value...I've replaced (same kind of car and everything) but just not the same) (still can't forgive him), lost my job, my job is pretty much "stealing from me", I'm being sued by previous doctors because THEY didn't file the insurance right, School (Good and Bad thing), Money situation, My boyfriend getting laid off 2 weeks before I do. I feel like my world is literally suffocating me. But all my mind keeps wanting to resort back to is back to 19 again with my ex and do things differently.Don't mistaken this as I'm thinking of killing myself no no no no ....that's the LAST thing on my mind! Remember I google because I'm afraid of dying so therefore I don't want to die ...lol...ok I had to try to liven it up a little bit. I've had a really bad day and it's just a mess and needed somewhere to vent. Thank you for listening. The moral of this story is that I got an anti depressant and if it helped for you?

Hi ggnl and welcome back!   I too am sorry to hear of your job anxiety!  Along with the other issues that you are experiencing, it's no wonder you are feeling stressed:(   I am super proud of you for making an appointment with your dr., instead of googling symptoms! Just think how relieved you will be when you find out all is well with you!:)

Hibee gave you great advice, so I just wanted to welcome you back, give you some sympathy and support...and second his advice regarding the CBT therapy. Maybe if you get in quick, you can get some sessions in before your insurances lapses? That would be great, it really helps.

Also keep doing your anxiety coping mechanisms: Breathing/relaxation exercises, meditation, distracting activities/hobbies/fun stuff:), good nutrition and exercise.

Glad to have you back, and please keep posting...we are here for you:)
S.C.

You can do a regular councelor too hon. I used a regular councelor when my brother was killed in Iraq. It helped me tons

Thanks! I appreciate it. today was definitely not as bad as i thought. But I know after about a week it'll kick in. But the medication has been helping with the anxiety thank god.