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Tight places and being blacked out

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 9/23/2011 2:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, im a firefighter and i started a new job in feb. with a bigger dept. Ive been a FF for 7 years now and never had any problems in the past. When i was in orientation we had to go through a maze the is completly black (no light) and the first time i went through i had no problems. Well the next one we went through i bacame entangled in some wires and ropes so bad that my hands were stuck at my sides and i couldnt move. Now we were doing this in full gear including our SCBAs thats the air bottle we wear on our backs for working in hazardous enviroments. Well while entangled one of the instructors turned my bottle off which stopped the air flow to my mask making it suck to my face, no air at all. Ifreaked out and wiggled free ripping the mask hood and helmet from my face and head. Ever since anytime we have to train even if its just doing a search of a building with a black out mask on i have a panic attack that completely takes me over. It feels like  a switch gets flipped and i lose control of myself. This really is starting to effect my job and my private life beacause i feel like a coward and a failure. Any advice or comments would help thanx....
Posted 9/23/2011 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi and welcome! First off, you are a rockstar, not a failure or coward!!! Thank you for your service, and let me be the first one to say that you do the things that most of us could not even conceive of doing...so no more of that kind of self-talk.

You had an episode that was (understandably) frightening, which set you up to have the same feelings again in similar circumstances. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the 'switch'...we sometimes call it a trigger. The mind and body are wired up for self-preservation, and when faced with a situation that is theatening and familiar, will use it's defenses like it knows how to.

Unfortunately, your job really requires you to 'over ride' those signals doesn't it? It is completely going against one's nature to put yourself in those dangerous places/situations that you guys have to!

I would suggest therapy as the best bet to overcome this. CBT or a phobia treatment such as exposure therapy might be a good choice. Both will teach you to face your fears in a controlled, safe environment, which can then be tested for real, with confidence on the job:)

Good luck, and keep posting with us if it is helpful, we are here to help!
Scaredy Cat
Posted 9/23/2011 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry, forgot to mention that you can get a referral for a therapist through your regular GP...of if you would like to keep it private (off insurance records) then just look for one that you can afford in your area, or consider a group which can be less expensive, but less personal than one-on-one.

Best wishes,
S.C.
Posted 9/23/2011 3:05 PM (GMT 0)
Thanx for the response. Ive made an appointment to see a therapist, hopefully I can work through this. Im worried that my crew will lose confidence in me. I also worry that ill get branded as a coward by word of mouth from people who have wittnessed my breakdowns. And i dont want to explain it to anyone because i dont think they will understand. It would be different if it was something like a broken arm or leg, but when its in my head it seems like i dont think anyone would believe me or they would think ive alwys been this way, it makes me feel weak, and im used to being the big tough guy that can handle anything. Im just so frustrated with myself
Posted 9/23/2011 3:59 PM (GMT 0)
Bringing all of those things up at your therapy appointment will go a long way in recovering from this. It sounds as if the 'fear of fear, is as strong, or almost, as the original issue...not uncommon at all.

You will without a doubt benefit from the therapy. Hang in there until you can get to your appointment. Your situation is somewhat unique in that you really are facing dangerous situations, therefore it's normal for you to have the adrenaline rush...but you may be over-producing it, or you may be becoming hyper-sensistive to it...either way, you can get help to overcome this.

You may in the meantime want to check out our Anxiety Resource Guide (main page 3rd post) It is full of links to sites that teach breathing and relaxation exercises. If practiced daily, these will help to bring down your over-all stress levels and hopefully ward off the episodes to some degree. It may seem weird at first, doing these techniques, but I guarantee they are effective...even for a big tough guy:)

Take care,
S.C.
Posted 9/23/2011 6:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi

Welcome to the forum nice to meet you. SC has given some great advise and support and I agree with what was said. CBT is very good and does help with anxiety a lot of the members here have had good successes. Keep posting and take care.

Hibee
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