Hello everyone, I wan't to give a quick update about
myself, conceded I am,
, Haha! So for these last couple of days, I literally have felt the best I ever have, my pulse is down, and everything is good! I am so happy, even at this moment, hold on!..... 80!, which is a lot better from 130+ sitting down! I still get the pressure in my throat, when I lay down it is worse, but if I don't focus on it, voila! it is not there. I have just been under a bit of stress, and I was holding something in, and once I got it off my chest I feel better, and I think that may help some of you... which gets me to my letter to you all.
"Dear you,
I know this is a hard time in your life and you feel as if there is nothing that will get you back to that place you once were, happy, not worrying about
what is going on in your body, and totally unconscious of the little twinges in your body. There is always things happening in your body, whether it be pinches, pains etc, it is because we are always growing! And of course because even if we move in an awkward position, there is so many muscles and nerves in our body that yes they can be pinched! So next time that little pain comes on, I wan't you to do something, put on your earphones and listen to a relaxing song, I know this may sound like what you may hear all of the time, or breath breath breath!, but I wan't you to do both, and don't just listen, get lost, feel as if you are in the song, take yourself to somewhere you have never been, and by the time you are back or that song is over, that pain, will disappear, and whenever you feel that pain or something going on, you can take yourself back to that place that was so beautiful and peaceful, that it can be your new dose of medicine. Medication - yes it helps, but it is not going to help of you can't do your part as well, if you can do your part fully, the medication is not even needed. I was on a medication for anxiety, it did make my symptoms worse, it was almost as if because I was taking it, there was a constant reminder of taking it and that would make me think again. You need to find something that will take your mind off of it, whether it be a video game, walking, reading ANYTHING! The last few months, were the most scariest, lonely times of my 18 years of life. I have never felt so alone and so in tuned with my body. I would say I am feeling a symptom, and the support system I had for my time, was not very good and comforting, I even had people laugh at me. I did not understand why people thought it was funny. I decided to not tell them anything anymore, and I realize that may not have been a good thing, but the support from healingwell and a few friends helped me more than my close family. Whether it be a website, or someone, just 1 person, to tell you it is going to get better, that is all you need, and I can't even believe I am sitting here right now alive, that is how bad mine was. I had every single symptom for heart disease, heart failure, heart attack, and you know what I stopped doing? I stopped googling the symptoms, that is when I would get anxious, I got my reassurance from my doctor, and tests (ECG, Chest X-Ray, Blood Tests) I called the ambulance numerous times, and every time I was fine. It is scary how real the symptoms are but I understand completely, and when you get through this, it will make you stronger, learn to love yourself, learn to love others because you do not know what they are going through, no one would have ever thought I was even scared to get out of bed because I thought my heart would explode, I would not even go and see my dying aunt because I did not wan't to go on a plane because I was scared that something would happen with the elevation, I will regret that for the rest of my life. Don't let anxiety overpower you, overpower it, I promise you will be okay, I did it. If I can do it, trust me with all my heart, you can to, even without medication. If you feel an attack or something coming on, please just try and escape, soon you will break through and you will be okay. I am always up to help, because I got through it, mostly, and I am totally willing to be that person you just need to talk to, vent to, etc. It will be okay.
Sincerely, FL"