HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Can Anyone Relate?

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 11/4/2011 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi All.

Familiar theme:whats holding me back from moving ahead with

my life? Yes, the obvious answers are lack of employment oppts

and the economy. But in midlife I am evluating my misteps, starts

and stops, as well as avoidence and taking the easy way out.

This is a gray area, but anxiety has been a substantial issue and

something that I'm predisposed to and had to learn to deal with.

I have covered most of this in previous posts. As I expressed

before I had little idea of what was going on with me then. My

main issues are general anxiety, anticipatory anxiety, overthinking,

self consciousness and worrying I will not accomplish what I feel

I can and in some instances what I already have done.

This is a major point: these tense anxious feeling can undermine

your confidence, go backward in something ( whatever I'm trying

to get better at - work, relationships, fitness) that I have already

been moving forward in. Its a disease that keeps me from getting

on with my life and drains my energy.

Here's my point. What made me think of this now ( besides these

issues) was when I responded to the post the other day regarding

the person not feeling satisfied with their CBT therapy. This made

me revisit my own therapy which was awhile ago and I know I well

expressed my disatifaction for.

I have not been in therapy since, although I have been educating

myself through reading ( Claire Weeks, that book At Last A Life) and

participating in this forum.

My therapist who had very little to say (did not believe in CBT,

meditation, or recommend any outside resources) simply said if

I am self aware just do whatever I'm anxious about. Thats it.

Heres the main points. When I went to see him all I knew that I

was anxious, didnt understand my own reactions, and just wanted

to talk about it. I was pretty new to therapy and now I know its

about growing not rehashing the same stuff again and again.

What do they say "insanity is doing the same unproductive things

over and over", or something like that.

What I learned I did on my own not from this inept individual.

I have moved forward but still find myself stuck in being anxious

in doing things I have either done well before or know I can

handle. Its almost like there is shackles on my legs - it should

not require this much energy, thought,analyzation.

Also, I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I have to get over it.  Its

funny how I am still so self conscious at my age too.

Can anyone relate out there? I have never taken the cbt courses

so maybe I can benefit from them. I am soured on therapy from

the previous experience.

In addition this has been a hard year on me cause though

previously healthy had to have emergency surgery from

something that nearly took my life. Recently I had hernia

surgery so I cant really workout ( which is my main way of

dealing with stress), so I find myself feeling depressed.

I just want to live my life free , take chances , be true to

myself and not be so anxious, making everything a big

deal. If I fail at something I want to give myself the benefit

of the doubt and have the so what, lets try it again or just

move on attitude. The way I live now is too draining, toxic.

This is my main points and what I really wanted from

therapy but never Articulated.

Can anyone relate to this? Would you recommend CBT?

Sorry for the very long post. Thank you.

 

Posted 11/4/2011 8:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Ghosst hang in there man, I feel the exact same thing you're going through. My therapist now "says" that he specializes in CBT but I have yet to really been told or shown any CBT type therapy. Unless he's doing it without me knowing it? lol I have no idea, but we just kind of talk. I get kind of scared though because he's strictly a psychologist and usually psychologists say that you can talk it out and work on it without meds, but he seems totally convinced that I should really be on an SSRI to calm my anxiety symptoms down.

I relate totally to what you mean by saying that you analyze your whole life. The misteps and the avoidance....I'm not too sure exactly what causes you to do these things but I do know my triggers. I've always known my triggers and they're just surfacing now as I'm turning 26 and really needing to take control of my career/life. I think that's an important step, I personally (I'm not a doctor though) believe that everyone's anxiety stems from something. For me, it was always my self conscoiusness about how I was "different". This started because I was born with a jaw malclusion (makes your bottom jaw come out farther and causes an open bite, before the surgery I was extremely self conscious about this).

But it caused me to never really gain the social/people skills that I would have had I not been so self conscious. Lately I feel like i'm just stuck in a daydream and it gets only worse when I get tossed into social situations. I feel your pain man, I personally don't know if CBT works because I never really gave it a shot. My doctor that I've been seeing for the last month supposedly specializes in it though so I'll keep you posted. Best of luck to you though, just try not to think about it too much is the best advice I can possibly give you. I know that sounds retarded coming from me as I'm constantly posting and analyzing myself on here, but in those small moments or occasions where I'm able to lose myeslf momentarily and just let go...I feel good. It's a matter of somehow, someway, getting back to that I think.

Good luck
Posted 11/4/2011 8:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ghost. You do have a lot going on in your life at the moment...but at the same time, you recognize it, and that is already huge step in the right direction.

I understand the perfectionism thing. I can tend to see things as all or nothing, and have to struggle to aim for middle (healthy) ground. Keep up the work on that. you can do it, because, like I said, you SEE it, and that is good:)

The coming to terms with the surgery, and the fact that we are not invincible is difficult too! You will recover though, and be able to get back to your exercise routine. Is is possible for you to do some lighter, non-impact exercises, like in a pool?

I do think that you should get back into CBT...you are a thinker, and a great candidate for this type of therapy! I am sorry that you last experience was not great, but that is all the more reason to seek a better therapist/program!

I hope that you are able to get the answers to the questions that you have answered. This is a great place to 'write it out', and while we are here to support you, ultimately the answers are already there in you...and I know that you will make the best decisions:)

Take care,
S.C.
Posted 11/5/2011 5:12 AM (GMT 0)
Hi......can relate and over relate. I suffer OCD Depression and severe anxiety and panic attacks...your not alone. You have actually answered your own question in last paragraph, you know what you want, you know what is holding you back.....therapy helps regognise these behaviours and put in perspective, your half way there. You are free able to take chances and be true to yourself.....what happens by not doing these things....we become a prisoner of ourself only, nobody else. Sometimes we just have to make ourself do what it is that we fear or are anxious about.....once done usually realise....well that was not so bad. Work on one thing at a time else get overload. It has taken and still affects me to point of being prisoner to myself, but have learned over 30yrs what I have to do. I was on medication but came off ten months ago. The medication helped but never took it all away just helped to do...but have just had to go back on Aropax as was starting to go backwards to far. Therapy I have had on and off for many years, the best thing I got from it was understanding and learning what and how to deal with my anxiety, and sometimes its just good to talk to someone who listens.....but knows and understands the symptoms. Everyone apart from the general information to deal with it finds there own way, just have to find it. When something changes in our life and changes routine can give another anxiety. Be positive no matter how hard. Theres always a way thats what you have to remember. Sometimes we spend to much time thinking about it all than actually doing something that will make the change. So be free take a chance no matter how small and have belief you can do.
freedom4life
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply