Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and I actually joined because of some digestive issues that I'm dealing with (Lymphocytic Colitis), but have read some postings here and would like to vent a little. I have been going through some things over the past few years that I don't understand. I used to love life and was known to everyone as the funny guy who loved life. Now everything overwhelms me. I call myself a dreamer because I know what I would like out of life, I just feel that I either don't have the energy to make thins happen, or the motivation. It's almost to the point where death seems easier. I'm not suicidal, it just seems like it would be easier than having to live life. Over the past several years, I have developed this all consuming obsession of "starting over". By that I mean that I tell myself O.K., tommorrow I'm just going to start making myself do things and set and achieve goals. You know, start my life new. Then, for whatever reason I don't do it and I say the same thing. I have been stuck in the cycle for far too long and nothing I have tried has worked. I can't stop thinking, it's almost like my mind controls me. The best way to explain how I feel most of the time is I want to be wherever I'm not. I'm always waiting for the next thing. So life has just turned into waiting for the morning, waiting for night, waiting for the next thing I need to do, then rushing through it so I can get on to the next thing. I'm just feel so confused, lonely, anxious and lost all of the time. I know this doesn't make sense, but it's the best way I can explain what's going on in my head.
Anyway, I'm glad to be on board with all of you :)