Looking for help

Hello. I am new to this forum.

Back in 2006, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has been fighting her battle since then. She will never be cured of it but I am so grateful that she is still here.

In March of 2011, I received a call from my Aunt. She told me that my Uncle had passed away. My Mom was scheduled for surgery the next day so she wasn't sure if she should tell her that my Uncle, my Mom's brother, had died. I discussed this with my family and we all decided that we would wait until after Mom's surgery to tell her.

While my sister and I were in the hospital waiting room with our Mom the next day, I received a call on my cell phone from my then fiancé. He told me that my brother passed away that morning. I didn't know what to do! We were already holding back the fact that my Mom's brother passed away the day before, but now we had to tell her that her son died as well? Long story short, the surgeon told us we had to tell my Mom before the surgery. We did and Mom had to go ahead with the surgery because of certain reasons that are irrelevant to this discussion.

I am the youngest of four children in the family. We are a bit dysfunctional whereas my father has always been very verbally abusive to all of us, and physically abusive to us as children. My father is now 89 years old, in incredible health for his age, and still verbally abusive to my mother.

I am somewhat estranged from my one sister. Close with the other and I was also close with my brother. My brother had told me years ago that he had made me his executor of his estate. We were not able to find his will. He also left behind an infant son overseas. His son is the sole beneficiary of his estate. The boys mother wants to send him to Canada for me to raise him since she cannot afford to raise him without my brother. My brother was not married to this woman, so she is not entitled to any of my brothers estate.

I am dealing with my Mom's illness, taking her to appointments when I can take the time off work. I have been working with lawyers out of province since my brother lived in Alberta and I live in BC. I also got married this past summer. 2011 was a bitter sweet year for me and I am thankful its over!

I was wondering if anyone could tell me if I would qualify for any kind of stress leave? I am falling far behind at work. I don't sleep well at all. I am on the verge of tears all the time. I have been on anti depressants for three years now, and they increased the dosage when my brother died.

I just feel overwhelmed but I don't know what stress leave is all about. Any suggestions? Thank you.

Hi Too_Stressed and welcome.

You have received some great sources by msOuchie, so I will just welcome and encourage you to stick around and utilize the forum as much as you can!

You have certainly had your share of stress, and then some. This is difficult to handle to say the least. We understand where you are coming from and how you are feeling. Stress and anxiety takes its toll on the mind and the body.

One way of getting relief is to practice daily breathing and relaxation exercises. In our Anxiety Resource Guide (main A/P page 3rd post) we have links to sites that teach these. They really can make a difference in how you feel. The cirucumstances of life are what they are...but with pro-active steps such as these, you can lessen the effects of anxiety.

I also encourage you to post with us anytime. We are here to listen and support and we look forward to getting to know you better.:)

Take care,
Scaredy Cat