UC,
I can understand your feelings of loneliness. You are not alone. I often have found myself there and it's a horrible place to be. But don't give up. You can't dwell on the past, only enjoy the present.
One of the biggest lessons I've ever learned I discovered recently. You can look to someone or something else to make you happy. But in the end, only you can make yourself happy. You have to be happy with yourself, have pride in yourself, be comfortable with who you are before you can truly expect someone else to feel the same about you. As the old saying goes, you have to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you.
Keep hope and know things will turn for you. You deserve to be happy in life. We all do.
Keep on talking with us and know we care.