SZM,
I think I know what you are referring to. I overreact to small things and I believe it is do to my own insecurities and making asssumptions re what someone else may have said. I do the old "jump to conclusions" thinking which then causes me to overreact.
A few hints to help yourself avoid these feelings.
People are as entitled to their opinions as you and I are. Allow them to express how they feel and let it be. Remember that it’s all relative and a matter of perspective. What we consider positive can be perceived by another as negative. When we react, it becomes me-versus-you, who is right ?
Some people may have a less than eloquent way of expressing themselves – it may even be offensive, but they are still entitled to do so. They have the right to express their own opinions and we have the right and will power to choose our responses. We can choose peace or we can choose conflict. We can also choose to walk away from the person that is causing us to feel conflicted.
I often choose to walk away and accept that this person frequently triggers my feelings in a negative way so they are not the one to be around if I am feeling anxious or upset.
I hope this helps as in the end the only thing that really matters is how you feel about yourself and not what other people think.