discouraged by lack of progress

I am on 5mg Lexapro because I could not deal with the side effects of 10mg.  Have been on the Lexapro for about 10 days total (first 10mg and more recently 5mg).  The 5mg seems considerably less side effects.  Whether it is enough medicine is a different question, but I could not deal with the 10mg so I need to try the 5.

I still can't get a decent night's sleep unless I take xanax before I go to sleep.  With the xanax, I get a sort of adequate night's sleep.  I really dont want to get into a pattern of having to take xanax every night to sleep!

During the day, I still feel anxiety and my thoughts are still focused on the one particular issue that is bothering me.  I try to distract myself and think about other things.  But inevitably my thoughts turn back to what is bothering me. 

Maybe I am unreasonable in expecting fast progress, but after a lifetime of "doing just fine", this all sort of hit me hard and sunddenly and I am discouraged by the lack of progress.  Therapy will be good but it is once a week and progress will be slow.  I am impatient to feel  better.  To feel like I used to feel. To feel like I have always felt  before.  To be able to function without the ever-present distraction of anxiety.

Soon, my family and I are leaving for a vacation.  I would like to think that the change of environment will do me good.  But I am afraid that instead I will just feel anxiety in a different place. 

 

I have had some stressful times in the past -- among other things, I have a demanding and somewhat high-pressure job.  But nothing I could not handle. 

For a long time, I have thought that I suffered from some depression.  But day to day, I got on just fine.

Many people who know me would probably say I am the last person they know who would suffer from depression or anxiety.  I suppose I come off as confident, energetic, self-assured.  (But I promise you I do not feel any of those things right now!)

So I guess I am having a hard time adjusting to this.

Hi Med!
I enjoyed reading your post...maybe 'enjoy' isn't the right word, but it made me feel good because it sounds like we're going through the same thing right now.

I think for me, unfortunately, mental difficulties were inevitable for me. My parents' families both have people who suffer from anxiety. I lived an anxiety-free life until I was about 25...then I started experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. I would get treatment through meds, and all would be fine. Then, about 3 months ago, things changed and meds haven't been enough, so I've started therapy. Between meds, therapy, exercise, prayer, and other positive things, I thought I'd feel totally better by now...but I'm not :(. I'm glad to see others have experienced the same thing, and that others have gotten relief!

I know exactly what you mean...I don't understand why all of a sudden I don't have my 'normal' life. But, my mom did point out to me that I am having many, many moments...even days that are great, and not to give up. My big fear is that it'll start to affect my daily life in that I won't be able to work (because quite often my anxiety kicks in big time when I'm driving, and I have an hour long commute!). But I need to remain positive :)

Hang in there!!

I so agree! It's hard to think about other things to distract yourself when you know in your mind that the reason you're thinking about other things is because you're trying to!! So annoying LOL