Hello and welcome to HealingWell,Anxiety is a reaction to stress which can put a lot of emtional weight on a person and a marriage. While it is important to keep your sense of self in a marriage intact, there are many way that you can offer support to your spouse.
I'm the one with the anxiety disorder in my marriage, but I'll tell you how my husband copes with it...
Sometimes I have major anxiety as well as depression . When I am having a hard time my husband just sits with me and lets me pour it all out to him. Lets me cry on his shoulder, whatever I need to do. If I say something that strikes him as particularly irrational, he'll point it out, because he knows that I'm working on learning to identify irrational fears and change my thoughts on them.
The most important thing he's done is to tell me, over and over, that he'll support me and will always be there when I need him. He doesn't usually ask me if I'm feeling anxious, he waits for me to go to him, though sometimes if he knows I've been feeling particularly stressed he'll check in with something like, "How is your day?"
I have had anxiety and depression for 30 years. My husband has a serious medical condition for 36 years and so we are there for each other. Does he ever get frustrated with my disorders - Oh my yes but usually because he wants the magic answer to making these disorders go away.
As far as letting your husband know you care... my advice would be just tell him. Say to him that you care and you're there for him when he needs you.
Will he see his PCP re his anxiety as therapy may be a good thing for your husband and his Dr. could help set this up ?
Kindly,
Kitt