fighting nausea and anxiety from sun up to sun down, even in my dreams

I do not even know how to begin without being tactless. So I go anyway... I feel sick to my stomach these days and I know why. its a socially unfortunate circumstance, especially unfortunate with my temperament and my history of severe severe GAD.
I wake up first thing in the morning i i wretch, i run to the farthest bathroom in the house to avoid bothering my husband (who's tolerance has expired). I haven't eat in a few weeks and i have honestly thrown up more than I have put in.

it is a situation over which i have no control, and one which i have only very finite choices to deal with. It makes me ill as soon as i open my eyes. i am almost consumed with this wretched feeling of disgust and nausea , insomuch that I can barely drink water. I am 105lbs today, 15 less than i was 3 weeks ago. and this is not by choice.

my doctor gave be ativan, but all these benzos... slow you down and destroy you eventually.

i just want to rise above my situation, even though i can't escape it, and take control of my eating again. i do not want to feel disgust when I have to deal with things that ordinarily others would not have to put up with. I want my happiness back , my joie de vivre again. I refuse to die of misery.

Hi kamakali and welcome.

I am very sorry to hear of your recent stomach issues. To not be able to eat, and be losing that amount of weight in three weeks is alarming.

First off, are you sure that it is solely anxiety that is causing the problem? Might there be another medical reason for your digestive problems? If you are absolutely convinced that it is all stress related...what have you tried as far as treating the anxiety, if anything?

Breathing and relaxation exercises are recommended. We have some video tutorials in our Anxiety-Panic Resource Guide (main page 2nd post) You could give them a try and see how they work for you.

I do not blame you for feeling upset and anxious about your current social situation with your husband's ex. I do not think it a wise, appropriate or comfortable situation for any of you to be in. Many people are now into socializing with their ex's...but for me, personally, I do not consider this a great idea.

Of course you will need to be cordial with this woman, since she is in your family/social circle...but vacationing together?...Really, I don't think it's fair of your husband to expect you to want to do this...and I think that you two need to have a constructive heart-to-heart about your feelings on this, and what it is doing to you physically and mentally.

I hope that you can get to a resolution regarding this situation. Please feel free to post anytime you need to talk about how you are feeling. We are here to support you and offer help when we can.

Take care, and give those coping exercises a try.:)

Scaredy Cat

kamakali,

If you don't mind...where are you from, and where are you living now? Also, have you attempted to get treatment for your anxiety and eating issues?

Are you in a safe environment? I only ask because with the severity of your symptoms of anxiety (seemingly as a result of issues concerning your relationship w/ your husband) I want you to know that there is help available to you if you feel you are at risk.

Have you attempted to talk to your husband about your feelings? He must know how serious your condition is if you were hospitalized after losing over 30 lbs!!! He needs to understand that you need to get help, and that he needs to be on board with your recovery.

Please first and foremost make sure that you are safe...then seek help for yourself. Start with your doctor and explain all that you go through with your anxiety. There are ways to treat it...and he/she will help you explore your options.

Keep posting with us please...we are here to listen and help.

S.C.

this is a necessary trip abroad for a family celebration. i must go. But i cringe even typing it. they kind of make bad jokes once in a while like (oh they (the ex and the current) look like sisters- no they aren't but that have something in common) and i in my desire to remain impassive but polite, basically scream inside my head. Husband thinks it's funny and the females of his family like her- not for him, but for his elder well monied brother. she's a decent human being, if i do say so myself, but the theorist that i am cannot help but eke out potential plots and make myself very nervous. they are far more liberal than I. I thought I was a liberal, but this borders on indecent. but once everyone else is having a good time, how could i the one person who sees the tremendous elephant in the room not boil with indignation! Something must be wrong with me to feel so uncomfortable around a good woman who only got usurped because I arrived. its been 4 years since my spouse and i have been together. and everytime i feel comfortable again these ghosts and weird circumstances appear once more to make me question their sanity or mine.

I'm sorry you are going through this but I know how it feels. I've been dealing with vomiting from anxiety since I was 5 now I'm 22. I know how you say those benzo's drag you down but honestly without the help of them I probably would have ended it by now. Lately my anxiety has been picking up and even diet exercise and pills seem to just not be enough.
The one thing that I can tell you for sure is that this problem won't go away, but with support and faith in something you can make it through. Don't give up!