Alright well for the last week I have been "eating decent". Wouldn't really call it a diet but in the morning and afternoons I've been doing awesome, and whenever I come home I just kind of eat whatever the family is having. I felt like I lost some weight the last 2 weeks so I hopped on the scale. Now I have to say in my own defense, that I had absolutely no idea what my recent weight was. I've been avoiding the scale because I've been just EATING basically when I'm anxious and that's been well....about
2-3 years now?
To my absolute dissapointment I topped in at 257. I'm 5'11 and have NEVER been more then 230 in my life that I was aware of. Clearly last week I was but never weighed in lol. But anyway, I'm really pissed about this. I always liked staying around 215-220, I think that's my ideal weight. I've been starting to get back onto my running regiment the last 2 weeks as well but my knees are absolutely killing me. I guess my knees can't take the pressure of my now newly fat @ss pounding on my knees while I'm running.
I know that losing weight has a lot to do with diet and exercise. I've known this because I've struggled with weight my whole life. I've never been "skinny" but I've always fluctuated between 200-230 lbs depending on whether I was focused on my health or if I just let myself go for a bit. So I need to cut out the night time eating problems. I never really had those problems before the anxiety, a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm up, angry that i can't sleep, and am trying to get myself to go to sleep. So as stupid as it sounds, I normally go downstairs and grab a glass of milk and a couple snacks (cookies, granola bars, etc). Can't lie, sometimes there's other not so healthy choices involved lol.
Anyways, I was thinking of incorporating a HEALTHY protein shake into my diet. I don't want to lift weights, I don't want to gain huge muscle, I just want to have something that will fill me up and also be good for me after dinner. Was thinking of starting to take it around like 8 pm or something and then go to sleep at like 10 or 11. I have a couple of main concerns about doing this though.
# 1 - When I had my (in my head) famous anxiety meltdown the very first time back in 2009 I was taking protein supplement shakes for 4 months at that time. I have no idea if the two are linked together somehow but being my typical ocd self, I worry that it had something to do with it and might happen again if I go back to one.
# 2 - Anyone know if some of the protein shake products out there give problems when mixed with antidepressants? Never took a supplement product while on any of my meds for anxiety.
# 3 - Hoping that it doesn't backfire and just give me more energy at night and just make my anxiety a million times worse?
I would have posted this on the livestrong site as I also like that site as well, but the problem is I don't think that people on that site understand to the severity that anxiety plays a role in my life. I know you guys do and you've heard my numerous and numerous complaints about it. I'm trying to get healthy but in the back of my mind my number one concern always seems to be my anxiety and to avoid "going crazy". One of these days I gotta snap out of this :)