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Fear of psychotic depression

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Posted 6/22/2012 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all...this is the very first time I am posting and I was hoping for some relief. I've been dealing with depression/anxiety/ocd - pure obsessions, for about 6 years now. I have had every imaginable irrational fearful thought over the course and usually get bouts of depression along with this every few months. My biggest fear has always been te fear of going insane, whether getting Bipolar Disorder, multiple personality disorder, delusions, psychosis...you name it. And while I know anxiety does not LEAD to these and is catogarized in the "neurosis" section, I have recently started obsessing and fearing of getting psychotic depression. I mean this is not a biological disorder and is rather a disorder that anyone can get if they get severe depression. So in my anxious mind, this now seems like it is actually likely to happen if i was to get badly depressed. I have actually been badly depressed numerous times but have always somehow gotten out of it, (also i've been on an anti-depressant since it first occured 6 yrs. ago). I am terrified now of going down this path some day and it just proves that my biggest fear still remains to be the ultimate loss of control - losing my sanity. I would much rather get cancer and die than to go through psychosis. I am that scared of it.
Posted 6/23/2012 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hi and welcome!

I am sorry that this worry is plaguing you...I know how it is to have a worry that just won't let go, and how consuming it can become.

It seems to be that some of us with anxiety worry about losing their sanity...and some of us worry about health issues...but like you pointed out, the root fear is the same...one of losing control.

It is great that you have medication to help with your issues. This will certainly help with the symptoms of depression and anxiety, but what else have you tried in regards to therapy? CBT in particular helps to tame the troublesome fears and negative thoughts that fuel the anxiety and worries like the ones you mentioned.

You can ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist that offers it, or look into self-help programs on DVD or books. We also have a link for on-line free CBT in our Anxiety/Panic Reources, as well as worksheet downloads.

If you think about it, you have had this issue for quite some time, and so far the things that you fear have not happened...so it is very likely that they never will! I know that it is hard to get your mind out of worry mode, but try telling yourself that you will be allright, and that it is only anxiety that is making you feel this fear.:)

Keep talking to us as well...we understand and are here to listen and support!

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 6/23/2012 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much...yes I have been and am still seeing a therapist. I was just interested in finding out if anyone else has had a similar thought on psychotic depression.
Posted 6/23/2012 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
Liz,

Hello and a warm welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Forum.  I am Kitt and I have a 30 year history of anxiety, depression, PTSD and, yes, I have a tendency to be obsessive and complulsive especially when it comes to worrying.

No you are not going to suddenly go insane.   Here is why. OCD is caused by fear, which causes anxiety which causes OCD. People that are really going insane do not ask themselves if they are going crazy.

OCD is a coping mechanism that the brain creates to deal with a situation.   The best  cure is to get to the fear that drives the anxiety, which drives the OCD.

For myself, the deep feeling of unease and fear that courses through my body, as I sit predicting the fearful outcomes the future may  bring me, is what obsessive  worrying feels like. This kicks up my anxiety and along comes depression.  I find breaking free from the circling thoughts and having a talk with myself sometimes brings me around.   Other times distraction does the trick.  I also have a therapist as well as the wonderful members here in the forum.  When the depression is weighing heavily on me I will let out the tears and accept that I am a person with a mental health disorder - I am not crazy. 

I hope you keep on sharing your feelings with us as we know where your coming from and what you are going through.

Kindly,

Kitt

Posted 4/4/2013 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
Is the original poster of this still on here?
Posted 4/5/2013 1:59 AM (GMT 0)
Hi justme24...i am still here :-) please share some positive info w/ me and not some scary story that would just increase my fears
Posted 4/5/2013 3:17 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, there is hope....LizBlum. Off and on over the last 30 years I have experienced varying degrees of depression, anxiety and severe panic attacks.The biggest issue is about losing control. With panic attacks I have ended up convincing a relative that I was dying and was taken to the hospital emergency where they gave me an injection. The point is that for me, things did get better and although my fears has fed my problems it has been an ongoing process of learning to overcome certain aspects of the anxiety and depression. It was not easy, but finding good supports made a difference. Getting help with both traditional medicine and alternative routes was very beneficial. There are so many non-medical alternatives to getting help out there and searching and seeking one or two that resonate with who you are is key. I have tried both medication, talk therapies and other healing techniques that provided relief. I am so happy to say that I don't take medication any more and that my reading and educating myself on all the good resources out there has been so helpful. I just want to say that there is hope, and that I do understand your concern with losing control. Please know that many others are going through similar experiences and have found help.

Post Edited (nanbot) : 4/4/2013 9:25:38 PM (GMT-6)

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