I'm in my last training class that I need to take for my new job. I've been going off and on and I usually really struggle with the training classes. It's very hard for me to focus and pay attention, my mind wanders and thinks about
a million and on different things. Somehow I'm able to pull 90s on the exam though, makes no sense.
Anyway, today was going soooo slow. The instructor was lecturing and I was just sitting there losing my mind. The clock wasn't moving, I started panicking about how I was panicking, I was getting this terrible out of body feeling and headache and had to go to the bathroom. Went to the bathroom and popped a xanax and was a little better, but then I was basically falling asleep during the lesson. I still remember 99.99% of the class and am able to retain it, I just hate how the whole entire ordeal is such a huge problem for me to get through. Why can't I be like everyone else and just mildly get annoyed and frustrated at classes? I've always had the same exact problem in my college classes as well, which is why I dropped out about 4 different times.
On another note, my body is completely breaking down. I don't know if it's anxiety.....I think it's a flu or something. Summer flu? Is there such a thing? I felt so darn tired and out of it all day long, I got home and tried to socialize with my family but I was just completly exhausted. I sat out by the pool for like an hour to clear my head bu tthen just wind up going up to bed. I can't fall asleep though, and I keep worrying that it's me just slowly losing my mind and my body. I just did take my temperature though and it was 100.3 so maybe I actually do have something legitimately brewing. I NEED to get through this class tomorrow as it's a 3 day course and tomorrow is the last day. I really don't want to have another rough go of it like I did today and think about walking out the whole time.