Posted 10/24/2012 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
OK, Here goes ladies (and gents)... It has been a very emotional time for me these last few weeks. THIS is why my life is a train wreck at the moment. Besides having my surgery done (STILL spotting after 7 weeks GRRR!), and going to all of my docs (primary care doc, psychiatrist, rheumatologist, cardiologist, physiatrist), preparing for my disability hearing in two weeks, THIS was what else has been going on.........
My daughter, who is 26 with a 5 year old daughter, came to me a little over two weeks ago and told me she is addicted to percocet, suboxone, and shooting up heroin, and that she was also thinking about suicide, because she was tired of living her life like she was, but didn't think she could actually bring herself to do it. We sat here all day talking and crying, and trying to find a rehab for her to go to.
After telling them that she hadn't used in a few days, and that she was starting to go through withdrawal, AND had the suicidal thoughts, I was told by EVERY single rehab that I called, it would be at least a 3 day process to get her in. I kept telling them that she needed help NOW or else she was going to try and get some from somewhere or, God forbid, attempt to harm herself. Finally,(thank the good Lord) I spoke to someone that told me to take her to the emergency room and tell them EVERYTHING, and that crisis intervention would be called.
Naturally they kept her at the hospital overnight, and the following day they found a bed for her. She has been in since October 8th. I have not been able to talk to her for over 2 weeks and I have no idea how long she's going to be in there for because they had her in the psych unit first, and then moved her to the rehab unit. She does get one phone call a day, but she calls her fiance so that she can talk to my granddaughter (she thinks mommy is away at school for a little while).
Sooooooo, that's where I'm at right now. It's very difficult to deal with because I NEVER in a million years would have thought she would take that path. She was always such a responsible girl from the time she was a teenager, always saving her money and paying her bills on time, and she's such a good mommy! Of course I blamed myself initially, thinking that I must not have done something right. But I tried my hardest to lead her down the right path, to be a good woman, wife, and mommy.
It turns out that she was fooling around with her ex for about 6 months or longer, who is my granddaughter's biological father, and he got her into doing all of this CRAP! Thank God my future son-in-law, who has raised my granddaughter since she was 3 months old, has decided he wants to work things out with her because he loves her and the baby so much.
When she gets out, she and my granddaughter will be coming to live with my husband and I. She doesn't want to go back to the same place she was living for fear that it's too easily accessible for her to get down there. We live about 40 minutes away, in the country, and she doesn't know anyone around here. She says she wants to have a fresh start when she gets out. I'm praying to God that he gives her the strength she need to get through it, and to be able to fight the "demons inside of her" (as she put it).
On top of all this going on, my cousins little grandson, who is 4 years old, is in The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, for the third time now, due to having multiple strokes. They are trying the least invasive treatments at the moment. The first one failed and he kept having the strokes, so now they put him on a different med, and if this doesn't work they have to do a high risk procedure, with the odds not being good. They said it could cause brain bleeding, or possibly bleeding out, if they have to go to that extent. Not to mention that if they are successful with the procedure, the surgery that would have to be done is also high risk....
If you would, please say a prayer for both of them. They needs all the help they can get, and there's no greater help for them than that of the Lord.
Sorry this is so long, and I hope you are all doing well.
((hugs)) Fox