Grappling with depression/panic

I guess I'm moreso venting, I'm not sure where else I can turn to. I've always turned here.

I was robbed on Thanksgiving by a man I was head over heels in love with... while my daughter and I were asleep. He stole over $12,000 worth of items from my home. I called the cops the next day, but he had given me a fake last name. After driving through a blizzard to find the home I had dropped him off at one day, and the police switching letters around in his last name, he was caught a few hours later at that home, although he claimed to have moved 40 minutes away. I was in love with someone I didn't even know I guess. I've retained about 85% back of what was stolen, but that's not what concerns me.

My trust is completely shattered. The thought of dating a man fills me with dread and fear. If men try to hit on me, I instantly try to find an escape route.

I just feel like crying every single day. I forced myself out on a coffee date today, but it was dreadfully boring.

My world is filled with depression, anxiety, and flashbacks from PTSD. I despise it. Why am I put through so much BS in this life?

I am so exhausted from all this. Things never get better for me. They get worse. I probably sound like a whining girl but I don't know how to come to terms with any of this. I'm so lost.

It's so hard to sleep at night. This man is in prison for at least 5 years but I can only fall asleep when the sun is coming up and I wake only for my daughter, bring her to daycare and usually sleep until 2 or 4 pm after that.

The psychiatrist knows all this, but what can she do? The therapist knows but only has so much advice.

Support system? I don't have one besides professional help.

*sigh*

~Twiggygal

If you had been in my position, from the charm, the chemistry, everything; you would have defined such as love until having been deceived. Such is the same as when one is cheated on. Trust is shattered.

I forced myself on a date to bring some normalcy back into my life. I want to get back into my regular routine, rather than staying in bed all day. I find it very productive to go out and about in fact, and therapeutic. I'm genuinely interested in meeting new people, so it is healthy to linger outside of the walls of my home.

I'm not quite sure where the "love isn't cheap" comment plays into my original post.

I have no other opinions on the commentary in regards to true love because I disagree, but thank you for your response.

TG~

Hi TG

This is the most horrible story, and I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you!:(

Please know that you have a support system here with us! There are lots of varying opinions and thoughts...all are different and all have good points. That is the great thing about this place...you get a wide spectrum of views, and you can take what it useful for you! What helps one person may differ from another, but we all want to help and support each other!:)

I am so glad that they caught the rotten ******* that did this to you. You are right that it doesn't fix the loss of trust and feeling of invasion that is a result...but it is a start! It also ensures that he can't keep doing this to other women! You should feel proud that you were proactive in getting him put away!!

With time you will begin to heal and trust again. I agree with asklepian that working on that healing should be priority number one for you and your daughter...and I have no doubt that it is! It will just take time.

I am sure that it is frustrating after having made some great strides recently.:( Sometimes it seems like it is one step forward, two back. You will continue forward though...because I know that you have it within you.:) You have been through a lot and have not given in...keep up the fight!

Keep posting here because we are here to listen and hold each other up. (you can also feel free to e-mail me if you need additional cheering on!:)

Big Hugs!

S.C.

Hi I went out off very abusive relashionship with very manipulative men and that was August 2012 now is jan 2013 and I started feeling better but he called me recently to tell me how he is seeing other girls and how he doesn't care anymore for me, trying to make me feel bad about myself and he succeeded. I feel so depressed and down so I went to my doc and he got me in cipralex 10 mg it's my second day.mornings are bad. I feel Like I'm gonna die. I was on this med for a month in sept and I felt so good after that I stopped using it. I think I will continue this time. Of anyone has some good thoughts ti share please be welcome. I think this site I very suprtice and I feel good by reading it. All the best falls in 2013.