submissive to tell that I'm angry...

I've noticed that I'm always thinking that others are like saints or gods who can't be bothered. I always think I lookwrong, I look bad, I'm a bad person, I'm an opportunist. Always, even when the other person is doing something innacceptable or unfair to me.

It is with bosses, friends, a guy a like, a stranger, even with my psychologist. I'm going to start therapy this Friday, but she said she was going to send me some questionnaries before, she was supposed to emailed them to me today, but she didn't, I wanted to answer them because I take ages to write this kind of things, and I was thinking: should I text her? Oh, what is she going to think? She's going to think I'm a demanding, inflexible, imaptient, she's going to get angry, she's going to say she doesn't want me to go to therapy, she's going to cancel because I'm like this stubborn.

I know this is again my mom, she didn't like making people upset, when my dad was in the car and if he was waiting for me and I was still getting ready, my dad accelerated the car (I don't know how to exlpain it), and she was like: look, your dad is waiting for you, hurry up!! And I was like 'mom, I'm not ready' -'that's not important, hurry up!'... or if I needed something and I asked her, she inmediatly started accusing me of the worst, like what I ask is not important, how do I dare to make her angry?

That's what I feel now with other people, if affects the setting boundaries thing, how secure I feel, how to make clear other people that I care about myself saying what I don't like... Many things, it frustrates me, I even asked to a friend if I should text my pshychologist. I hate it, I always feel I'm the small one, not so important.