HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

So tense waiting for the next attack that I'm hurting

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 12/19/2012 11:05 PM (GMT 0)
And why does my back always hurt on the left side so I'm convinced that I'm going to have a heart attack??? My left arm feels heavy too. I feel like my breathing is shallow but I've been to the ER and had blood work done, ekg's done & they say my heart is fine. I have resisted taking any anti anxiety meds because I fear the side effects. I used to take Paxil about 20 years ago and hated how my knees buckled every time I yawned. I'm taking 1mg of ativan twice a day as my doc suggested.I also think I'm suffering from depression. I'm crying all the time, mostly because of how I'm feeling, but I have't felt happy about anything. I've been seeing a therapist for the last 3 weeks but her strategies with deep breathing, being present & all that don;t seem to be helping. I'm going back to my doctor tomorrow because I'm almost out of ativan. I really feel like I'm crazy :( I don;t know what brought this on (she says stress, guilt, emotions) but can you be depressed & that devlops into anxiety?
Posted 12/20/2012 3:04 AM (GMT 0)
You're not crazy at all- I completely understand what you're going through. I have the same problem of waiting for the next attack and getting anxious about it happening. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself? I know it's extremely hard during an attack, especially if your concentration is really low--usually what I do is walk, because I don't have to think about anything.

Depression and anxiety definitely go together and feed into each other. My main diagnosis is depression and I have just recently developed anxiety symptoms, so I would think it's possible for depression and anxiety to be linked.

I also fear the side effects of medications and I hate being on them, but sometimes I think they help. Have you considered a different medication than Paxil?

I'm not sure what to suggest about the back. Have you talked to your doctor about it? Is it something that only happens during attacks? It sounds really painful.

I hope you feel better soon.

-Avrielle
Posted 12/20/2012 3:57 AM (GMT 0)
You have received great advice by Avrielle! I just want to lend my support...and encourage you to keep up with your therapy.

I too was discouraged when I first started. However, it is pretty common for therapy to take from 10-12 weeks for results to start to be seen.

It seems like a long time, but it is so worth it. Hang in there!  You have done a great job on getting started in your treatment...well done and keep going!!

Peace and progress:)

S.C.
Posted 12/20/2012 9:41 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks both Avrielle & Scaredy Cat. It's so comforting to have this forum to vent, question & commiserate with other sufferers. You really don;t feel so alone when you read all the stories.

I really appreciate you both for responding!  I actually had a great day today up til now. When the kids are home and getting rowdy I get anxious but I'm going to pull out my ear plugs that my therapist recommended and try to relax.

Posted 12/21/2012 2:15 PM (GMT 0)
Avrielle - I was diagnosed with "anxious depression" over thirty years ago and that definitely fits the bill for me. I have anxiety a good portion of my days but I also cry at the drop of a hat. I really don't know what comes first, the depression or the anxiety, but I guess it really doesn't matter. What matters is that we have to suffer from this awful affliction at all. For people with physical ailments there's usually a pill, but even though there are meds for anxiety/depression, we still have to do most of the fighting ourselves to get through each day, each attack, each crazy feeling, etc., etc. So I feel particularly sympathetic for all of us who are burdened with this. Guess we have no choice but to keep on fighting and reminding ourselves that we are NOT crazy, just more sensitive to the stresses and strains of everyday living. One of the therapists I had many years ago told me that people with anxiety or some of the nicest people he's ever met. He felt that we take on the suffering of the world in our own heads so that others won't have to. Kind of him to say that but it's still tough to handle.
Posted 12/21/2012 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
Today I was driving to work & had to turn the car around because of my anxiety. I finally broke and turned in my prescription for buspirone. I took my first dosage & have been very down ever since. I don't know if it's because I'm feeling disappointed that I couldn't deal with my anxiety with just therapy or if it's the depression I suspect I have, rearing it's ugly head. I've been on the verge of tears for the whole day & I'm trying now to hold it together so my kids don't see me like that. It was also my last work day until the new year & I'm sad I didn't make it to our luncheon. I emailed my boss to say I wasn't going to make it in & he didn't even respond. He's a major cause of anxiety for me anyhow so that made me more upset. I've got to get my head together for my kids. My son has ADHD & I know he's very intuitive to my moods & feelings & I'm trying to be careful around him. Why did this have to start again after 20 years of lying dormant in me??

 

Posted 12/22/2012 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
I am sorry that you are feeling down right now PG.:(

I have had to miss a few events in the past...and there have been some that I wished I had skipped...and others that I am glad that I didn't.

However, at the end of the day, it is all about your progress and moving forward...and you are still doing that! Missing one lucheon is not going to make a huge difference in the big picture. I know that you are dissapointed and down about it...and I am certainly not trying to minimize your feelings, rather, just reminding you that it is okay to do what you need to do for yourself at any given time.

As you start to feel better from the work in therapy (keep being patient with yourself and your treament) and from the medication change, you will be able to do the things that you want and need to do with more ease!

Do not be discouraged...you are doing all of the right things, and it will get better. Hang in there, and know that we are here for you along the way.

S.C.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply