Posted 12/28/2012 10:47 PM (GMT 0)
Dear HealingWell member, I have a big problem since August. This problem could be answered before, but I can't look at it here, because one of my problems is actually, when I see different symptoms online I force myself to have that particular symptom.
So, I moved from Africa to Belgium like two months ago. When moving I felt like I had a breathing problem, so I couldn't experience all the fight and going through cities by train on my arrival due to my shot of breath (So I though it is because of may be altitude change or when I think about it now it could be just that I was overwhelmed) then after a while everything was fine and then I was experiencing anxiety symptoms in which I though I was crazy so I didn't tell my gf till I had it one night and I told her that I was scared and then she said "oh okay, this could be an anxiety", so then I discovered that there was a disease called anxiety, I have never have it and it was really a weird feeling for me. So I was calm for like a day since I, atleast, knew that what I had with me was something known.
Well, after that 'Anxiety disorder' became my thing! The more I discovered about it on the internet, the more I actually try to scare myself having it and I have it! As you can understand, now I am not interested about the varieties of symptoms of anxiety disorder, but how to deal with it.
I didn't take any medicine or talked to a therapist.
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OK, right now, I need your advice on if I really have to go to hospital for this or not, or if I can take care of it myself.
Symptoms:
- In the beginning I felt everything was like a movie, I started observing myself as an outsider
- I scare myself with things that don't exist ( Like I could go somewhere where it is dark and imagine there is some scary thing over there like some horror character)
- At least once a day my heart beat goes really fast, my hands go shaking (I realised that I used to have this feeling before, but I just calm myself immediately by realising that there is actually no reason to be scared (I actually realise that there is no reason to be scared too, well, b u t I am in another people country and I don't have a job and I can't speak the language(Dutch), I don't have friends, I don't speak to anyone till my girl friend is at home which means I don't talk to anyone except looking at watching these reality shows on Youtube (since internet is fast over here) which are real like watching peaople dying in cars or robber kill them you know just like reality shows which make me so scared of this developed world, like you could get just killed by a gun cause you looked at someone(?) ))
- I have very high sweat during the night (at sleep)
Please I need help, I am tooooooooooo conscious of STUFFS around me, sometimes, there is no meaning of life, I don't know my part in this life, I am scared of dying without being useful!, I think life for me is either UP (like the reach people (but well ,when I get there I don't know what I think)) or DOWN which mean I am basically useless.
HELP ME MEMBERS, What is happening to me??????? Just give me a nice, open mind (but not hurting) feedback on how I can deal with myself.