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Posted 1/19/2013 12:35 PM (GMT 0)
So I have decided to leave my husband. My anxiety is at a high right now and I hope that it is normal and will settle once things get better more organised etc. my mind sometimes is going so fast and my heart i pounding etc. It worries me but I know that it will pass. It goes away for a while then it comes back. Just neeeded to vent. Has anyone ever had this experience and is it normal thanks
Posted 1/19/2013 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
Twiggy2,

I am so sorry to hear of your difficult situation. I know that things must be very hard for you at the moment. I also know that this decision does not come easily...and that you must have endured some hard times to reach the place where you are currently.:(

Know that it is normal to have feelings of anxiety during such a time. This is a major life change, and no one would go through it without some effect of stress.

Know also that we are here to support you during this time. Post anytime that you are feeling nervous, sad, mad, uncertain, scared ect...all of these feelings are bound to come up, and we will be here to listen and care.

Take care of yourself during this time, and know that we are here for you.:)

S.C.
Posted 1/19/2013 6:21 PM (GMT 0)
go into this knowing that you are getting out of a bad/wrong situation and know that things are only going to get better. they always do. it may be the furthest thing from your mind, but know that there are thousands of descent men looking for descent women and descent women looking for descent men and thanks to this wonderful thing called internet many of them find each other. my wife and i did 14 years ago and haved lived happily ever after. good luck. keep your head held high and go happily to the next stage of your life.
Posted 1/19/2013 9:10 PM (GMT 0)
Twiggy2,

I was in your place many years ago and it was difficult but I know I made the right choice so move forward knowing with time things will straighten out and you won't have so many bumps in the road to face. 

As I deal with a major illness now the one thing I have learned to do is shut down when my mind is spinning and I start repeating, " I don't know what to do".  I literally stop my whirling thoughts by taking a time out and settling myself down either by breathing exercises or by meditation.

Going through a divorce is a major change in your life. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time.  You may not be able to be quite as productive in exactly the way your accustomed to for a littl while.  No one expects you to be a superwoman; take time to heal, regroup and energize.

Keep on talking with us as we are here for you and we care.

Gentle Hugs,

 

Kitt

 

 

Posted 1/20/2013 2:04 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for all the replies. I definitely know that I making the right choice but find myself doubting it as well. Today has been up and down but I remind myself as often as I can that it will get better and that what I am feeling normal. I filled out the application for low income housing and trust me it;s a step up from were am at the moment. I will keep up to date the best I can. :-)
Posted 1/22/2013 10:22 AM (GMT 0)
need to vent. having some anxiety issues at moment due to bad dreams regarding the separation i'm sure it is normal but non the less it is very disturbing. I dreamt that he threatened to keep all the money he made as he may not have to pay child support because his income is less than mine in real life that is the case but in the dream I told him he couldn;t be that cruel not to want to provide a bit of money towards his children. Sorry if I am not making sense as I don't really either. There is more to the dream than that but alot of this is coming from fear and what other people have been talking about. I hope that these dreams are temporary. thanks for listening
Posted 1/22/2013 5:39 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry that you are experiencing bad dreams in regards to your situation.

It is bad enough to stress about it during the day...but to also have anxiety while you are sleeping is too much, right?

They say that dreaming helps to release feelings that need to be addressed from our subconscious...which is good...

...but I often end up feeling exhausted after a night of stressful dreams, so if you can possibly catch up on some sleep with a nap, that would be good.:)

I hope that things get easier for you soon...we are here to support, so post and vent anytime!

S.C.
Posted 1/24/2013 9:23 AM (GMT 0)
hello just an update to situation we aren't having to move however we have decided that we need time apart so my husband has decided to move out and we are going to try marriage counselling as a last attempt to either save the marriage or not. I glad that we came to an arrangement and we get to stay in our home however it is still very hard this is what I wanted to happen yet at the same time I don't. I know this doesn;t make a lot of sense well to me anyway maybe it will in time. But we need the time apart to figure things that I know for certain so having said all this I can to begin to focus on getting things in order and the children. I not sure if counselling will help but we are willing to try so it a step. Not sure which direction it will take which makes me a uneasy but I guess that's normal to. Will keep posting to let you know how things progress or not. Sorry that I am very optimistic at this point. take care Twiggy2. :-)
Posted 1/24/2013 6:04 PM (GMT 0)
Twiggy,

As you go into counseling keep your mind open and don't try to guess how things may go.  This can be a way to bond, to get issues out in the open, and to move forward. One thing relationship therapy  can do is release tension that has built up.

You should strive to be a couple that is comfortable with expressing themselves and talk to each other regularly and honestly. You will  find that relationship therapy will be a challenging and hopefully a  positive experience.

Be well my friend,

Kitt

Posted 1/24/2013 7:47 PM (GMT 0)
Best wishes!!! I think that it is great that you are both willing to go this step before making a final decision.:)

We will support you through it all...

Keep posting and we will be here to listen.

S.C.
Posted 1/27/2013 7:24 AM (GMT 0)
to those who following this post i was going to change the thread topic but i wouldn't be the same lol. Hubby is still trying to play mind games as I suspected would happen. He is moving out at the end of the month which is hard on me and the kids right now because he is acting so nice one minute and being a jerk the next. Tonight he went out for a drink and is rubbing other things in my face to long to explain. However I am trying very hard to not let it bother me. I am going back to my individual counselling as soon as I can until we can get into marriage counselling if he makes it that long. I am also seeking out legal counsel on Monday to find out my rights etc. This whole this is messed up. I am keeping together as best as I can and not letting him see when I cry and stuff but at times it is difficult. I am going to get a journal so that I can record more stuff but it helps to come here to. I have doubts that this relationship is going to last but trying to stay positive. Take care all and will update in a couple of days. 27/01/2013.
Posted 1/27/2013 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
Good job on not letting the things that your husband is doing get to you. It may very well be that he is doing these things in order to get a reaction out of you!

Unfortunately, things may get icky...as is often the case when relationships are going through rough patches....but it could be that you guys do weather this storm with the help of the counselor.

Either way, is is important to take care of your own health needs at the moment (and your kids needs of course) so keep up the good work in your individual therapy and journaling!

I hope that the rest of the weekend is peaceful for you.

S.C.
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