i came back from lunch today and hadn't eaten so i was shaky and my heart felt racey and i was hot.
so i ate and felt a litte better. then i think i got anxiety from it. ever since i've felt anxious. i took half a klonopin finally at 4:00 at work. thought i was doing better til i get home and check my pulse. it's 99! i don't even know why! i didn't get enough sleep last night and have been thinking alot about my son's graduation from army on friday. his gf isn't coming and that means he will be in afunk and bad mood. i'm anticipating it. so i text her to see if she is and she tells me no she has a flat tire. then i say well ride with his gma. she says no she doesn't like her. i said if yhou guys don't like each other's families, then how will it ever work. she says to me "it won't. that's why we aren't together." huh??? she text me a few nights ago to ask me when i was leaving. i know i shouldn't get involved but i want to kno what's in store for me this weekend. i don't want to be around my son paying for a hotel while he's texting and calling her upset.
i know i shouldn't worry about it cause i can't control it but i wonder if this is what's wrong with me? i hate this subconsious anxiety you cannot control. i've tried breathing deeply, ignoring it, - but my pulse is still fast.
how can we fix it if we don't know what's causing it??? i mean i don't get why my heart is racing when i'm not even thinking about anything really that much or worried? sooooooo frustrating!!!!