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Posted 2/26/2013 10:15 PM (GMT 0)
my daughter has been my support for the last few months during my set back with anxiety, panic and agoraphobia. I attended and IOP for a month and now in CBT. She is 18 years old and just is more compasionate than my husband and my 16 year old son. Well today she had a breakdown and told me that she feels she should not be responsible for my support system. That she is stressed knowing that when she wakes up she dows not know what kind of day I will be having and what will be expected of her. First, I felt so hurt and than soooo guilty. Now I just feel alone. If I had a physical illness would people be more supportive? Who can I turn to? Shouldn't I be able to turn to someone while climbing out of this hole? Or should I just rely on myself. Ugh...crying and so alone.
Posted 2/26/2013 10:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hugs gizmo!!!

This is a tough one...because neither one of you is wrong here.

Yes, you have every right to support from your family!

...and yes, it may just be too much for your daughter, though an adult by society's standards...she is still is very young, with her own life to deal with.

That is why it is great that you have reached out here...and a reason why you may want to consider a group that meets in person, so that you can make connections with others who share similar struggles.

My husband does not understand me or my issues at all. I have found much validation here, so that I do not have to rely him, or my family/friends...because, lets face it...only someone with anxiety can relate.

I hope that you can see around this in order to not take this personally. Your daughter loves you very much...she is maybe just not able to take on this role of caring for you in this capacity.

Finding other ways to connect with her on a mother/daughter basis...and finding support for the anxiety elsewhere could be the key to get everything back in balance for your family.;)

Keep talking with us! You are never alone!

S.C.
Posted 2/26/2013 10:54 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks. When I was in IOP the people understood. Just feel like. Have no one to turn to. No one to tell me it's going to be ok and I am working hard. Yesterday was a bad day anxiety wise and no one cared or related. I know I have to find ways to build myself up and be my own cheerleader.
Posted 2/26/2013 11:11 PM (GMT 0)
Gizmofab,

I understand all too well what you are going thru. I'm sorry you are feeling this way! Anxiety can make you feel so alone even when you are surrounded my tons of family and friends. Just realize no one knows what you are going thru inside but you. You can describe and relate to others that have anxiety & we are the ones to understand the best

My husband is not supportive and it makes it really hard for me. Seems he is my "rock" and my go to person, yet he can be of no assistance in this matter. I am always looking for reassurance I will be okay and he gets frustrated with me.

Just know that we are always here for you on healingwell and come on here and post as much as you need to and someone will most likely always respond.
Posted 2/27/2013 6:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Gizzy,
I was the most uncaring jerk ever married to someone with anxity/panic/depression.
don't dispair there are thousands of us now and we all understand, I remember telling my Wife
just suck it up, get over it' and the great, why don't you just grow up,
hey girlls wouldnt you like to vote for jerk of the century.
Don't worry about your Daughter she will be ok, she's young and probably feels like hell for saying that
to you, just be the forgiving Mother, she needs you and Loves you, and shes afraid of losing you.
"By the way you would be suprised how understanding I am now" yes I now have my very own anxity!
Larry
Posted 2/27/2013 5:04 PM (GMT 0)
lgm,

Thank you for your candid responses. I of course wouldn't wish anxiety on anyone, however, I do wish that my husband could have just an idea of what I went through at the height of my anxiety journey.

You have been on both sides of it, so you do know, both what it is to not get it...and then all to well, what it feels like to have A/P in your life.

The fact that you are so open and honest, and own the fact that you were once less than sensitive about dealing with your wife's issues is very touching.

It does not make you a jerk...you never were, you were just unaware.

...and now that you are willing to share your story and encourage others...well that just makes you an awesome guy.;)

Thanks again and peace be yours today!

S.C.
Posted 2/28/2013 5:50 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks, I would like to communicat with you just to get my feet on the ground so I can really be of assistance to you and the good people on this forum who need and want help, I dont want to burden you just get some guidence and pointers.

You are a Blessing to the people of all ages that seek a warm hand/heart, may your Blessings returne a thousand fold.
Larry Mandrell

Larry, I have e-mailed the second address that you gave and did not get a response. I also posted to you that you can always e-mail me...my addie is in my profile (just click on my screen name anywhere on the forum and it takes you to the profile page)

I will try the first address that you gave (the gmail one) this time. Hopefully you will get it.

 

S.C.

Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 2/27/2013 11:33:15 PM (GMT-7)

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