Out Of Control

Had lots of caffeine with my Ritalin, and thinking maybe that's why I feel like this.

I feel really anxious, and have been crying for the last couple of hours. I feel like I can't turn to anybody. I don't want to talk to my parents because I don't want to worry them, I'm scared that if my boyfriend knew how bad I felt he would leave me.

I feel catatonic and really depressed. I can't even make myself get up and make my bed. My room is a mess. There's hardly any food in my house (but I'm not hungry anyway) and I can't get off my bed, let alone go to the store.

What is wrong with me?! Logically I know that being depressed and crying isn't productive, but I literally can't help it. Even writing this is really hard. I feel like such a burden on everyone. I feel so alone.

I just put down a deposit on an apartment, so I should be happy. I feel even more guilty that nothing is really wrong with me and I feel this bad. Things could be so much worse. I don't deserve to be depressed.

I feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot. I know I'm being overly clingy and needy with my boyfriend, but I don't change my behavior. It's like I'm trying to get him to leave me when he's a really important part of my life.

I'm alienating my soon-to-be roommate because I don't want her to know how bad I feel.

I don't know what to do anymore,

Hi BlueMoon,

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this rough time right now.:(

Do you see a therapist or P-doc? Would it be helpful for you to call and get an emergency appointment this week?

Like Kitt said, reaching out to your family will help you to get the help that you need...and make your parents glad that you are not suffering alone and in silence. Trust me, as a parent, I want my kids to come to me when they need assistance!

You have made a great move by coming here for support...now take the next step and get going towards recovering from this setback.

Let us know how you are doing soon.

Scaredy Cat