Fear, paranoia and distrust of people in general

I am extremely introverted and almost always keep to myself unless I absolutely have to go out in public. When I was younger I was a little more "outgoing" but over the years I have developed severe Social Anxiety to the point where I have practically lived like a hermit for the last 15 years (not always fun!).

I am writing today to find out if people and their attitudes have changed over the last 20 years or if it's "just me". I suffered from ADHD as a child and was put on Ritalin. I had a lot of developmental and behavioural issues as well. I currently have Tourette's Syndrome, Bipolar Disorder, GAD, Panic Disorder and occasional bouts of depression. I have known for ages that I was "different" from other people. In fact, I've had a lot of people tell me that and people always ignore me, treat me differently or act like they don't like me within only a few minutes of meeting me. I hate it and have never been able to figure out why.

I was always the kid standing at the far end of the playground shuffling his feet and staring down at the ground while the other kids were playing and having fun. If I was waiting in a Doctor's office and someone tried to start a conversation with me I would pretend to be asleep. I am very socially awkward and tend to avoid people but I am ALWAYS very polite and respectful to people.

Recently, I made an attempt to get out more. I did some shopping, went out here and there and it only served to reinforce my social anxiety and make it even worse. Here's why...

I asked the Pharmacist at one place where I could find talcum powder and he practically shouted at me "over there!". He even had a stern look on his face. So I went looking for the powder and couldn't find it so I went back to him and apologized and asked him where it was again and he got really mad and said "I told you it is over there!". He was really grumpy and scowling at me. Even when I thanked him, he never even said "your welcome".

Then, I went out again and I was standing there in the isle and I heard someone behind me say in a gruff voice "your in my way!". Not "excuse me sir" or "pardon me". I turned to look and there was this great big guy behind me so I said "pardon me" and moved to one side. He just said "your fine" (again, gruff voice) and walked off.

My next trip out, I was standing in line and there was some other great big guy behind me. The person directly in front of me was taking forever so another cashier opened a lane up and the guy behind me in a really loud, rude and pushy voice said "sir, the other line opened up...SIR!!...THE OTHER LINE IS open!!...S-I-R!!!!!". I looked around and he got even louder and more forceful. He was right behind me and practically yelling in my ear. Very confrontational. Then, I moved to the other line and heard him mumble something.

Then, I've opened the door for people and had them just walk in without saying "thank you". A few times people have just given me a dirty look and one guy even said "I don't need you to open the door for me!". Also, I've had waiters and waitresses slam down my change and give me dirty looks, people make rude comments, etc.

So I wonder, is just people these days or is it something I'm doing wrong to be treated like this?. Am I just a human doormat?. Were all of these people just having a bad day?. I'm a very small, older fellow and also disabled so I'm not about to start a confrontation or even say anything so I just end up not saying anything at all and take the abuse from other people but it sure doesn't help me with my social anxiety or build my self-confidence when people treat you this way.

So, I'm just wondering if this is just a sign of the times or if people are especially angry these days or if I just look like someone to beat up on and abuse. Anyone else ever get treated this way?. Thanks for your input!.

Yeah, some people suck. It has nothing to do with you personally. If it wasn't you, it would've been some other poor soul.

Instead of giving those losers power, forget them and focus on the decent, friendly strangers you encountered. I'm sure if you really think about it, the nice ones outweigh the idiots.

Keep on doing what you're doing and don't let other people's problems become yours.

Wow! That is just awful! You did not do anything wrong, and in fact, I believe that people could take a lesson from you...holding doors open and such...
Have you tried shopping at a smaller store, or going to a small coffee shop or restaurant, or even to church? Perhaps you may find friendlier faces in those places...

It is my general observation that people these days are racing around, stressed out, worried about themselves. Much common courtesy has gone right out the window. There ARE good people out there, however.

Not sure the size of the town you live in, or where you were shopping at; but maybe that had something to do with you encountering so much negativity. YOU are to be congratulated for stepping out of your comfort zone and attempting to better yourself. Please don't stop doing that because of those people.

There are times when I will only go to a park or a walking path just to get out, quiet, decent people seem to enjoy those places...Never shop on a Saturday! It is madness!

I just feel so very bad that you encountered this. I just can't believe how horrible people can be to each other. I know that even if I am in a very funky mood that I never let it affect the way that I treat people. I always smile at others and say hello even if they do give me the go to bleep look and don't smile back or say hello.

Please remember that all of us are not mean or angry. Do not let how others treat you change the way that you treat others. This has always been my motto. Sure there will always be jerks that don't give a darn about anyone but I like to think that the majority of people are decent and were just having a bad day when they were rude to me. Just give them a smile and say have a nice day no matter what.

Much love and hugs,
Lynn