separation issues

I am having issues with my verbally and emotional abusive ex.  Been separated since the beginning of feb and went to our first court appearance. He hasn't paid any support, didn't have the decency to file the documents on time, and now because I want to move to a new place my daughter has decided to move in with him. While I realise she is old enough to make this choice I know that it won't be good. my anxiety is bad can't sleep waking i swear every half hour. Cryng etc. My family doc tried putting me on remeron which seemed to help for like a week but after that it stopped so I stopped taking in and have to go back on the 26th for a follow up. the clono is helping a bit but seriously need to convince her to change it to something else or increase the clono dosage from 0.5mgs to the next highest. we go back to court in may. Everyone keeps telling me that she has to learn the hard way and she'll come back but I worry she won't. She thinks he has changed and I have tried to explain to her that he hasn't and while he has changed his appearance on the outside he is still mean and nasty on the inside. However she won't listen. I am trying to look out for her but it;s not working so well.

Ooops, okay, I just looked it up...and in my state, California....it is up to the judge's discretion whom the children stay with after a divorce.

However, at age 14, the child has the right to speak up in a court hearing.

So if your children are under 14, then that actually may work out to your advantage, if they are still wanting to go with him...since they would not be able to tell the judge this directly

Please document all of the abusive episodes that you are vicitim of, or witness. You will need to have these if it comes down to a custody battle, and you need to prove that the kids are better off with you.

S.C.

Hi Twiggy,

Going through my own serious issues w my wife as well and it seems like we are headed towards splitsville a 2nd time around. I can totally relate to how these marital isues rampup our anxieties.

Hoping for some peace on your end :)

Twiggy, being a man I will never understand the bond between Mother and Children it is special, sometimes
I wonder if its because there is some crossover between the blood of the Mother and Child kinda changes
you in a special way. I have witnessed these split up many times in my life some are civilized and some are
bloody, I Pray yours is civil. Just a thought my opinion is not worth one cent more than anyone else, especially yours. When dealing with teen agers in todays world loyalty doesn't count for much, but freedom, the kind with no rules will win everytime. Daddy may not have so many rules, I don't know what I would do but I think I would make my desires know, to Daddy and the Court, then at least you are on record if problems pop up later. One more thing when my Mother & Dad split even though my Dad was a real stinker, he never said one thing against my Mother, on the other hand she shredded his hide at ever opportunity. Years later I figured out that even though He was wild as hell he really did still Love Her. I realized that when She tore him down She was not telling me anything new. I told Her one day after I was a grown man that He never said one bad thing about Her, She was stunned, She sat down and cried her eyes out.
She then told me, "I will always Love Him, I just cant stand Him". It was the last time She ever said a bad
word about Him. "My point is when dealing with your Children take the high ground". Your Friend
Larry ***