Do not know how much more I can take!

Hi maggie,

You have a whole lot going on right now. It is hard to deal with chronic illness, anxiety, body image/ED issues. It must feel like too much to bear all at once.

If you are truly feeling like you need immediate assistance, I urge you to call a loved one and the suicide hotline in your area, or:

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

As far as managing your anxiety in your situation, it might help to break down the issues, and work on them seperately, rather than seeing it all as a huge obstacle.

Compartmentalizing the concerns, with your respective support groups will help.

Ask your doctor for referral to a nutritionalist for help with the purging.

Ask your therapist for help with the body image and anxiety issues

Do your coping exercises for overall stress relief and help in keeping your flare mild and short.

As far as liking yourself...think of how many people already do (including me) and ask yourself...are they all wrong? Make a list of all of your good traits. Then ask yourself if you would like to be that person's friend.  I would be willing to bet that you would, so try seeing yourself as others do.

Keep posting with us and let us be of support and understanding.

S.C.

The prednisone is starting to work a little, and I got some pain pills.  I took one and went up stairs and slept for 3 hours.  My hands hurt today, so I am taking it slow.  As for my eating I was nauseated yesterday so I did not purge.  I want to work on this situration so I think I will take one step at a time.  I still feel ugly and want it all to end, but like I said I will work on it everyday.  Thanks for you words of support.

I am not feeling much better today. I have noticed that I am more tired over the last few days. Maybe it is my body letting me know I need to rest my mind. Will keep posting.

Thinking about you and sending positive wishes your way.

Sometimes, when we feel down ourselves, I wish we could see ourselves through other people's eyes. I imagine if you could see yourself through the eyes of some of the people who love you most, you'd think "Gosh - I'm SUCH a beautiful person, inside and outside."

I agree with SC about taking account of the positive things about yourself. Without even meeting you, I bet there are things about you that others wish they could be. Whether it's your sense of humor, intelligence, strength or something else.

Hope you feel better soon and that you keep checking back in. I'm new here, but these guys and gals are all very welcoming and have such wise advise. It's a great place for support.

If you can't think of anything else to grasp for the moment, think about this - here are all of these people (including me) who already like you enough to really, really care if you're okay. :)

Concerned about you - hope to hear from you soon. :)

I hope that the pred helps your pain.

I also hope that you can come to a place of being comfortable with your body. 135 is a healthy weight for a woman. Many women would love to be that weight!

But more importantly, we all need to realize that the weight on the scale does not define us. Our bodies should be celebrated and cherished no matter what shape or size.

I deal with issues of an ED as well. What helps me is being active. I feel good about myself if I am getting exercise...so even if I gain a few pounds...I still feel fit and healthy. This way I don't get caught in the trap of needing to be skinny...(if your joint pain is holding you back, try swimming, or yoga)

We understand, and are cheering you on. When you feel up to it, try some journaling of your feelings. Write down things that you are happy about in your life...and some things that you would like to see change, and set some goals.

This is a step in the right direction, and will most likely help you to feel better about your situation as well.

Hugs,

S.C.

Hi Maggie,

I'm so sad to read your distress and suffering. You're not alone anymore and we're all here to help.

Loving oneself (not to the point of vanity, but for self worth) is essential to feel and be healthy inside and out. I am sure many people love and depend upon you and would hate to see you suffering like this.

The purging is an addiction or a habit which needs to be broken...there is help available and the first step to recovery has already been done; knowing you're ill and asking for help.

Take care,

LP

I did not purge at all yesterday so I did not feel guilty.  It was very hard, but I spent time outside with the dog's and my son and his wife came for dinner.  One day at a time.

So proud of you! Finding a way to fight through and do the things that are so difficult is two accomplishments. Firstly, you did the positive thing. Secondly, you exercised great strength.

You're right - one day at a time.

Continuing to send positive thoughts your way!

MG

No matter who you are what you look like how you feel you have self worth and self esteem because you are a person. We don't get self worth and self esteem from others and even we ourselves only can affect our self worth and esteem.

I was anorexic and to this day have some body dysmorphia problems. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think wow! What happened!! Well I turned.34 that's what happened! I no longer am a fit carefree 20-something. Is be lucky to be your age and still at a manageable weight! It sounds like your are actually in a good weight.

As far as liking like crap well some angles on me are just horrible and others are more flattering but its still me!

Instead of believing yourself when you say I hate myself...go ahead and prove that's an absolute lie caused by this anxiety. Have a relaxing bath, treat yourself to a glass of wine or a scenic drive. Doing something nice for you will prove that well you actually don't hate yourself but you are dealing with anxiety and likely depression as they are common together.

Is even suggest posting a picture of yourself here, I'm sure there has to be something.perfectlt lovely about you. I like my eyes bit my chin is a bit long and pointy. But I have nice eyes!

Try focusing on what parts you like about yourself! You will find out its actually silly to actually hate yourself and near darn impossible too!

Joshua

Only 53, hell girl your still jail bait! lololo

You deserve a day at a spoil me spa!

Larry ***

Maggie, ativan should stop a panic attack dead in its tracks, I know xanax does for me, perhaps a stronger
mg? You really do need a break!

Larry ***