daughters anxiety attack

My 34 yr old daughter had an anxiety attack that lasted 20 minutes, with vomiting, heart palps, dizziness, fast breathing. She has major depression and dysthymia, but refuses to take medication for it. She refuses to move out, saying she has nowhere to go. I have tried to help her for 2 years but she got really angry at me the other day and told me to stop treating her like a child....(I am her mom, but I'm not to act like it).....She refuses to get out and look for work, she is very dependant. She threatened to kill herself if she was forced to move. I feel like I have a monster in my house. I have anxiety from this and an uncomfortable in my own home. If I put my foot down she has anxiety attacks. I have a local behavioural health number to call, she refuses to see a therapist...She is driving me nuts. She is not eligible for SSI, as they refused her 3x saying she did not make their eligibility quota, she has no money, no medical, the state won't help her. Are there any resources for people like her? I am resentful having this dumped on me with no hope for improvement or her getting on her own 2 feet. She doesn't socialize, has no desire to, and I am so tired of this ....we tried to get her to move in with a relative who is closer to the city and resources, again, she refuses. She stays here and plays WOW all day, is sullen and depressed. What can we do besides throw her out on the street? that's not an option.

Thank you SC for your thoughtful reply. I do feel frustrated, you're right ...the line between enabling and help/ support is fine. I struggle with this continually. My brother is a psychologist and his wife a naturopath. We are trying an herbal formula with st John's wort and Valarian .....I am just exhausted from her depression. Thank you for the nami site, I will look at that. As far as a contract, threatening that she move will not work with her. We have a verbal agreement of sorts, but to threaten her will backfire. I don't want a suicide on my hands. She does need help feeling independent, and needs employment. The odd jobs she gets and chores here give her some structure, but she isn't happy. She is hard to live with, I feel it has taken a toll on me and my family. It's so hard.

That would be nice! I will check it out. Thank you!

Larry I'm so glad I found this forum. I live in a small town and have to be very careful what I talk about, or it goes like wildfire. The support I get here has helped me so much. I guess we have to carry on and try our best and pray! I worry how my daughter will survive when I'm gone. Hopefully another family member will help her. Her depression has flare ups, and her anxiety attack was WAY worse than any I've ever had. Unbelievable. So now I feel a little overwhelmed. We give her odd jobs but that's not much. She has chores, and takes care of her own personal stuff..like food and laundry. What gets me is when I get lashed out at, and raged upon. That happens rarely, but it does happen. It hurts.