I feel like im going to lose it

Hi Mollywood and welcome.

I am really sorry to hear of the rough time that you are going through right now.

It is not uncommon for moms of young ones to have these feelings. You have a lot of responsibility with your little babies, not to mention the hormonal changes/sleep disturbances that you have been going through for about 2 years now. It's not hard to see why you may be experiencing A/D.

Have you consulted your doctor yet about these feelings? This would be a first good step. He/she can recommend treatment and make a therapy referral if that is what you decide to do.

I went through CBT. I did this when my youngest was still little. It was a sacrifice of time with my family...but in the end, it was what I had to do to be healthy...and a good wife, and mom.

It is great that you have reached out here as well. Support for this issue is so important, because anxiety can be very isolating. Please know that you are welcome here, and we will be around to listen and understand...so keep posting.

Check out our Resources on our main page as well...there are some really great self-help ideas to be found there!

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat

Molly,

We have all (many of us) been right where you are. It does not last forever. I and many others are living proof. We know the feelings. Scared, panicked, nervous, depressed, etc. It is like a roller coaster. You will get through this. Things can and will get better.

The people here are great. Take Scaredy Cat's advice. The resources here are great and the advice and wisdom on this board is outstanding. One step, one moment at a time.

Believe what people are saying here. It will get better molly. I've been talking and thinking to myself the whole time before about my health worries up to the point when I already felt like I'm going to lose my mind. It made me so scared that even made the base of my skull hurt and explode that day. You have to free your mind from your worries and try to talk to other people than constantly drowning yourself with absurd thoughts every minute. Googling also made it much worse for me so I stayed out of it. I found this site and made me calm as people brought me hope and told that I'm gonna be just fine.

Now I still have bad days but I learned how to appreciate the good days that come even if it is followed by another anxious day with symptoms. I also thought it was endless before. But you'll get better molly. All of us will get better! Steve Martin suffered from panic attacks and now he doesn't have them anymore.

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MOST anxiety happens at the subconscious level. JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed. It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state.

Thank you all for your comments.. It is so comforting to know that I am not alone in all of this.. there is so much more to all of this but that is the basic situation I am going through.. I have learned how to manage my anxiety the last 4 years of my life and in 4 years this is the worst flare ive had.

On my way home from work yesterday I just had a break down.. I couldnt stop crying.. There are so many areas of my life that I feel like i am not doing a good enough Job, where I feel so alone like I have no one who understands.. when I talk to other people about what I am going through it is like I am talking to a wall.. everyone looks at me like I am weird because they have never gone through this especially my family...

It is so hard to explain to people who have never gone through this what its like and how much of it really does feel like it is out of your control.
I really have gone and done cbt but not fully comitted not because I dont want to but I work an 8 to 5 job with two babies and I literally mean that I have no time when I say it.. Which is why I turned to this sight.. its something rather than nothing..

I have so many things going on in my life, so many negatives with a few sprinkled in positives and I just needed a place where I could go and talk and be understood for once.. a place where people could build me up instead of down.. I do very much feel like there is no hope and that this world is just so pointless.. I have lately started to overaalyze every single thing in my life it is so strange... and that to gives me anxiety.. a new symptom for me with this anxiety flare up is that I am not able to sleep well at all.. I am having a really hard time falling asleep and when I do i get maybe 5 hours and it is making things so much worse for me during the day.

I used to use sleep as an escape and that is not working anymore :( I thank you all for your re assurance it does help.. and I really really pray that this is just a phase for me.. because I honestly could not go the rest of my life feeling like this all the time..

I should also add that this roller coaster has gotten worse since ive given birth.. when breastfeeding my son things were amazing as soon as i stopped the down hill spiral started and here 4 months later i am depressed which i never have been before, and terrified at how low i feel and the low thoughts that i have constantly.. I literally have to force myself to do things, to get up, get dressed, smile, laugh.. etc... no sex drive, cry randomly, blah blah one big mess all day..