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Treatment for me, or just to appease others?

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 6/5/2013 5:37 AM (GMT 0)

So, I have a wicked sweet anxiety disorder that I'm "too old" to have. I have had Selective Mutism forever, gone through extensive CBT, and feel like I have great coping skills. I still need to use multiple strategies daily and talking still causes intense anxiety. I am a counselor for 5-12 year olds and LOVE my job, but counseling obviously requires verbal communication. I've found that I tend to ignore my feelings of panic and anxiety during working hours, but when I stop breathing and can't stop shaking the people I work with don't ignore my anxiety. I have tried numerous medication options and nothing has proven effective. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I'm not cognitively anxious but my body still reacts, and sometimes I just feel like I'm trying to find a treatment that will appease the people I work with. My doctor suggested that it might be helpful to talk with someone who has a similar situation, but I don't know anyone with a similar situation. Maybe someone I don't know can provide some insight?

Posted 6/5/2013 5:43 AM (GMT 0)
I can't relate to the selective mutism, but can definitely relate to the frustration of having physical symptoms when you're not aware of anxiety. There are several people here who can relate to that element, at least.

As far as whether you're seeking treatment for yourself or to appease others, do the symptoms bother you?
Posted 6/5/2013 6:39 AM (GMT 0)
Of course it bothers me that I stop breathing when people ask me questions, and that I shake like I'm freezing through every meeting, and that I always feel like I'm on the verge of tears. It bothers me a lot more than I allow anyone to see. I have dealt with this for a really long time and have accepted that it's not going away. I'm afraid that what I cannot do will block others from seeing what I can do.
Posted 6/5/2013 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there

Thanks for being so honest and open on the forum. Anxiety is for all ages, no doubt! There are users here that frequent this forum from 13-72, no joke! I'm 33 and ended up here after a series of panic attacks. My brother has selective mutism so I can't 100% relate but I get that.

I think you said it best that you are afraid of what you can't do is gonna overshadow what you can do.

What is it specifically that you can't do? And what specifically have your coworkers done or said to give you the impression they need to be appeased?

Medications work differently for different people. I recently started taking 5htp supplements 200mg a day (should ask your doc about this cause it interacts with some medications). I find it helps me boost my mood.

Also the other day I started to worry why I was shaking at work then I put a light jacket on, turns our I was just cold! Sometimes the simplest explaination is best. If your body is having reactions and your mind isn't racing I would
recommend saying some nice reassuring affirmations, sometimes I brush it off other times I self talk.

Also have you tried guided relaxation? I love guided relaxation and often close my office door during lunch and put my head down and do guided relaxation for 20 minutes. It's also an awesome power nap.

I think also maybe you are too concerned about everybody else. Who cares what they think or say your self worth just is and isn't dependent on anybody else and not even you! It just is....!

Hope you are feeling better today....!

Joshua
Posted 6/5/2013 3:25 PM (GMT 0)
la5ni,

Welcome to HealingWell and  our Anxiety - Panic Disorders  peer support discussion forum.

From what I know of this disorder, adult selective mutism is an insidious and debilitating condition.  It feeds on shame, humiliation and embarrassment. Selective mutism usually co- exists with social anxiety and you will find we have many members that understand social anxiety.  Am I right in believing the inability to speak is not by choice, but rather by extreme anxiety that prevents you from speaking in specific situations ?

On the positive side, many sufferers of adult selective mutism  have above-average intelligence, perception, or inquisitiveness; creativity and a love for art or music; empathy and sensitivity to others' thoughts and feelings and a strong sense of right and wrong.

Possibly the most well-known instance of selective mutism in popular culture currently is depicted by the character of Rajesh Koothrappali in the television sitcom The Big Bang Theory.  If you have never heard of selective mutism you may think this character has social anxiety.  However, in the show, he clearly has a fear of talking to women yet communicates well with others.

You mentioned that you have tried many different treatments and I respect you for advocating for yourself.  I think coming here and talking with us about your problem is a good thing.  Perhaps if you give us examples of what you are doing when you have an event we could dialogue with you to help you.

I have anxiety and social speaking has always been a huge issue for me.  Once I lose my place I am absolutely lost and I stand in front of my peers knowing my face has turned bright red as I try to hold back the tears of frustration and anxiety. 

I cannot say I know exactly what you are going through but I have an idea of how tough this is for you.

I use positive thinking and positive affirmations which help with my anxiety but it takes constant vigilance on my behalf. I have a dual dx of Anxiety and depression and medications are part of my life.

Let us know how we can help.  Practice talking with us as we are complete strangers but we understand anxiety and will do our best to support you.

I wish you peace and happiness,

Kitt

 

Posted 6/5/2013 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
Talking about this feels so weird.

I am a counselor, so teaching kids coping skills is part of my everyday. When I am teaching them relaxation strategies and calming-down techniques, I always do it with them. I'm kind of a master at Power Relaxation:) I also spend a lot of time outside, running around. One of the kids' favorite strategies is playing - if your heart is racing, give it a good reason to be doing so. There are a lot of smiles in my life! I also do a lot of reading and writing to just unwind at the end of the day.

My body seems to always be in startle-mode, even when I feel completely calm. I have been a liscenced counselor for two years, and in that time have been diagnosed with Raynaud's, Geographic Tongue, and Panic Disorder. The doctor asserted that my anxiety is finding other ways to express itself because I have become adept at ignoring the primary expression. Basically, I don't talk to anyone over the age of 15 unless it is absolutely necessary. And even when it is necessary, it doesn't always happen. I have a panic attack at least once every day.

Benzos have absolutely no effect on me. I have been prescribed 4 different SSRIs since October and they all have caused auditory halucinations, just increasing my anxiety. I have tried various herbal supplements. I keep a bottle of Angelica essential oil in my desk - it does help me bounce back from a panic attack more quickly, but I haven't found anything that works directly on the anxiety.

I sound like I'm complaining. I'm not. I have learned to live with anxiety and I am better at my job because I can relate to the kids and even explain to them that we are working on the same problem together. I don't like it, and would like for it to not be there, but I'm not complaining about it.

Posted 6/5/2013 7:19 PM (GMT 0)
This problem seems to give you a lot of insight into helping these children, sometimes a curse is a Blessing
in disguise, You seem like a truly Good person and I know that Children can see and feel this! Keep up
the good work!


Larry ***
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