cln777,
Ending a relationship doesn’t make you a bad person, even if
you fear that your partner will see you that way.
As sad as it seems, we all sign-up for the possibility of
heartbreak when we go into a relationship.
In fact, most relationships end in some form of painful feelings. It’s futile to try to protect people from
this, and any attempt to do so will only result in more pain. Heartbreak is tough because it shows us how
vulnerable we are no matter which partner wants to dissolve the relationship.
It feels to me like your husband is using guilt is to bring
up past hurts and wrongs. No matter what you have done in the past or how sorry
you were for doing it, there is absolutely nothing you can do today to take it
back. Bringing up past behavior is a cruel way to punish someone. Loving
someone requires forgiving the past and letting it go. If your husband honestly
can’t let go of something that has happened then you cannot be in a trusting relationship
with him. It simply does not work.
I know you tried couples therapy but I am wondering if you
are seeing a therapist just for you. You’re
in pain and need someone to talk too that is neutral and that may be a good
therapist.
We are here to support you decisions.