Panic

I'm new here I'm 23 and I have been diagnosed with general anxiety and panic disorder about a year ago . When I moved back to France .
I knew nothing about this illness .I was very much enjoying life I had stopped heavy drugs ,and one evening out of the blue I had just smocked a joint and gotten into bed when my first panic attack hit me .
I really thought I was going to die .and since I have been living a nightmare.of course I stopped smoking weed . they are better days . But as soon as I start thinking about it it escalates very quickly .


I know that everybody who has this illness knows its all in our heads . But it feels so real . My heart pounds so hard in my chest , I can actually see it .i constantly convince myself I have a heart problem .
At some point I even considered ending it in a bad way .

So I have seen a few docs and shrinks I have taken meds and done some therapy, it kind of worked ,my therapist is a dick sorry but he is .sort of in a good way if you know what I mean.
But I am at a point where I just want to beat this, I now take half of the meds I'm suppose to I try to exercise but its not easy when you think your heart is going to fail .

But I have to win this I lost so much in this past year because of this .
I've hurt so many of my relatives .

I'm sure we can all make it but it ain't gonna be easy .

Take good care

An easy battle isn't worth winning. ;)

Glad to hear that you're on the right track and taking charge of your life. Welcome to the forum!

Wyatt

I had a similar panic attack, and many other people first suffer anxiety or panic under the influence of drugs or alcohol. I've experienced anxiety & panic under the influence of both. I'm glad to hear that you've quit the drugs. Thinking about the past only causes ourselves guilt & anxiety. What is in the past is in the past. If you had a panic attack in an elevator or at a mall I'd encourage you to go back to the same place to prove that its not all bad. In our cases, I can't encourage you to take up drug use again but I can encourage you to leave it in the past. What choices you made and how it made you feel at that time were a one time thing and I bet the episode of panic only lasted for a few finite minutes, it rarely lasts over thirty minutes for most people.

So - why let a one time event haunt you today? It's just like every other unhappy thing in my life, like breaking up with a girlfriend 15 years ago, or embarassing myself in front of friends, or passing our drunk or being scared for my life under the influence, these are all things that happened in the past that have no bearing on what we feel today. You can make a conscious choice to feel different today, to stay in the moment today and not let the skeletons of the past come for you. After all, they are only skeletons and those memories are going to fade and wash away over time.

You are not defined by who you were, you are defined by who you are right now. Chose to be who you want to be right now and keep going in that direction.

I hope you are feeling better soon!

Joshua