Posted 6/14/2013 5:27 AM (GMT 0)
(This is crazy long, I'm sorry!)
So, one of my good friends called yesterday about a job opening with her employer. After talking it over with my husband, we've decided I will apply for it. I've just completed their 10 page online application, uploaded my resume, and finished a 1 hour aptitude test. lol I'm under the impression that as long as I pass all of the tests, I pretty much have the job. They're mostly looking for someone nice.
Now, I'm sitting here obsessing. My clothes are washing for the second time (don't laugh, I've been known to wash the same load 4-5 times when I'm nervous), my nails have their first coat of the EXACT shade of my shirt (I laid out 6 bottles of polish on the shirt to match it, lol), I'm emotionally eating and frazzled, but right now, I can breathe. When I left my office this afternoon, I got so short of breath that I threw up twice. I slept like 1 hour last night.
The thing is, there are positives and negatives.
It's a totally different field than the industry in which I've worked my entire career. That frightens me. I think I'm capable - I scored well on the first test and this friends knows me VERY well. It's just that my current work is something where I'm naturally gifted (not to sound arrogant, sorry). It's not something that requires much effort for me.
There's also a pay cut, about which I'm nervous. My husband seems to think that's fine. Really, he handles the money. I grew up in very severe poverty and tend to worry about money. (I drove a car for years that required a quart of oil every 15-20 miles. He bought me a brand new car without my knowledge. We haven't missed a payment.)
The new job has GREAT hours. I currently work 50-65 hrs per week, on salary. This is a straight 40 hours.
I would be working with my BEST friend since third grade. We've been through everything together.
I would have better insurance at a lower price.
My current job is very public, which is making dealing with panic attacks difficult. People show up at my house, call my cell, message me on social media, sit down at my table at restaurants, etc. I'm not, as a matter of policy, allowed to do lots of things - drink in public, associate with certain people, engage in any level of politics, etc. At the new job, I would be off work at closing time.
My friend says the atmosphere is really relaxed and they laugh a lot. At my current job, there is no one whom I haven't seen cry in at least one meeting. People throw things, curse, scream, slam doors, intentionally break things, insult others, etc. (It's the pressure, they're actually good people).
The drawbacks are:
- money, obviously
- I'm comfortable where I am. Unless it's for financial reasons, I can't fathom being terminated. I don't know how secure I'd be at the new job.
- ego (I know that's bad but it's true. The job I'm applying for is not something I would consider professional. It's also a bit of a gender cliche.)
- flexibility. I work insane hours at my current job, but there is also some flexibility to my schedule. if i wake up in a panic, I can take time to regroup before I leave.
- the people. I've worked here for nearly a decade, I love the people I work with (when they're not yelling, demeaning, etc. haha)
Basically, I've been praying that if it should work out it will and if it should not work out it won't.
If you've survived this ridiculously long post, any advice?