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Posted 6/26/2013 1:18 AM (GMT 0)
Hello as the title reads I just want to sincerely apologize to you all for what I believe is being a little bit if a nuisance. I keep coming back here for the same issues and it may seem to you guys that I never learn for the great advice that you guys give me. I hear everyone of your words and I take it to heart but when I'm in the heat of the moment or my mind isn't in the right place I tend to forget some of what I was told. That's why I need to try to find a CBT soon because I won't be able to beat this with out a change of mindset. I posted this because I get that feeling that I'm being ignored a little bit more than in the past. Now I KNOW that there are many many other people on this website that need just as much help than I do and have so many people to give advice and encouragement to and may not always have time for my I am absolutely not trying to act selfish one but please don't misunderstand what I am saying here. I completely understand the job at hand here and also try to give advice myself if I can help in that scenario because I too deeply care about everyone here because we are all family. Just from a personal point of view I notice less replies but I suppose it's my fault for not taking the initiative and try and fix this myself so I am deeply sorry for being a nuisance( personal view of what I think not speaking for anyone here). It's just I love it here on healingwell. I feel that if I feel down or have a problem or even not feeling well because of my anxiety I feel I should come here because I love you all especially you Larry who is so full of wisdom and care as well as all the awesome moderators and all of the others who give great advice or even just let me know that I'm not alone. I'm a sensitive guy and would hate to get on anyone's bad side especially my family here on healingwell. I love you all so much and keep you in my prayers always and again am sorry for my actions on here with posting forums with the same issues and all I explained above.
Posted 6/26/2013 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Jocipher,

First of all, there is absolutely no reason to apologize for anything at all!!! Please know that. That is what all of us are here for, to support one another in our times of need. All of us here understand anxiety, where others at home or whatnot, may not. I too always feel better posting and getting encouraging words from my family here as well. Everyone here is absolutely wonderful...including yourself!!

Please, please please know that we are all here for you as we are here for everyone else who needs encouragement, okay?

I agree, Larry is one hell of a man!! wink

Hugs,
Sylknmyst
Posted 6/26/2013 1:42 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks sylk

I know people may tell my I don't need to apologize but I am a sensitive soul and felt I needed to say something! My anxiety got bad today so I was going crazy on here typing up stuff hoping that someone would reply and I noticed that I say too much of the same thing with no improvement so I felt like I needed to say something so that's why I said it. But thanks you:)
Posted 6/26/2013 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
I too am having a bad day with my anxiety...so I am right there with you. And it's okay if you repeat what you are feeling, we all need to release our emotions!

Hugs,
Sylk
Posted 6/26/2013 2:03 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah I almost had a panic attack twice. And I just scared myself on the Internet again when I shouldn't have done. Idk today's anxiety made me go back to a bunch of bad habits and I shouldn't have done that.
Posted 6/26/2013 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
Son, you're going to be fine, sometimes youth works against you, you might not realize it but if nothing else
bothered you, you would be in a hormone frenzy, things that you feel strong about may well change in the
next two, three years. Mens brains do not stop developing until about 25 so don't be too upset if you
notice a difference as you go along the way. Now I will share something personal, the most effective method
I have to shut down PAD is the Rosary! I say it slow and deliberate and concentrate on every word, and I
deliberately vision each and every station and place myself there as a witness to all the events. I am not
selling any thing but I am sharing what has worked for me for years. I wish You the Peace of Christ!

Larry ***
Posted 6/26/2013 3:59 AM (GMT 0)
Jochiper,

You would have to work a lot harder to even begin to be a nuisance...or to compete with some of the repeat members who post about the same problems over and over, Lol!!!!!

We have a natural ebb and flow to members posting and responding here...it changes constantly. I am here everyday, and I see it...it comes in patterns and waves, trust me.

The last time you were posting...it may have been a busier time. Now things are slowing down a bit...it's Summer after all.

I for example have to share the computer with my kids...unless I use my phone...and that kills my eyes and thumbs.;p (our wireless is on the fritz...so no laptop for now) So I am on a little less now, than during the school year

That is just one example. People are on vacations...plus, like I said, sometimes people are just not responding/posting as much as other times.

Don't trip:) It is normal. Give it some time...more often than not, you will get repsonses days after your posting.

We love you too, and are glad that you are part of our family!!

S.C.
Posted 6/26/2013 4:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there

I don't write the most "caring" things so let me just give it to you straight. I don't think you're being ignored, it's likely that's just your anxiety at play in your own head. I think CBT will help you realize what's going on in your thought processes and how to manage it.

Needing re-assurance is something we all need to hear now and again but if you think it's getting out of control, well...it's just your anxiety at work, that's all. I don't think anybody minds, and if they do they won't write you back about it so you'll never know anyway.

There's really no point about worrying about whether or not people on a public and anonymous forum are responding to you or not, I mean...don't get me wrong I like being here and a lot of people are great, but the forum is a kind of secondary social circle outside the social circle that you are physically present in.

I think if there's more to be concerned about, probably best to focus your energies in the "real world" about how anxiety may be affecting the people who you interact with on a daily basis in your non-online world. Try reaching out to the people in your life next time, I'm sure you'll see you have people who love you and care for you in real life who won't ignore you and that's a better type of re-assurance than anybody on any forum can give you.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Joshua
Posted 6/26/2013 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
Dead on as usual Joshua, He's a good young man and will surprise himself one day. Peace

Larry ***

PS:getting any sleep! lol
Posted 6/26/2013 4:31 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the replies I suppose Joshua is right though. It was my anxiety messing with me in thinking crazy things but I do love you all even though I may not know you at all. I'm only 17 haha I'm not to bright in dealing with certain situations ill admit and with the anxiety on top of it it's quite the ride ill admit. But thanks for the understanding. Clearly I have a lot of growing to do. I did figure out that I am on my own with my anxiety tonight unless I start showing action. Ill admit all that my dad said tonight was true and he was hard on me and made me a bit emotional but he was speaking the truth. He told me that why he shod show any ounce of sympathy when I'm not putting any effort in fixing myself. He's right but it is harsh. I want to do this I want to beat this( pardon my language) sooo darn bad. If I could truly speak my mind about what I feel and what I want it wouldn't look pretty. By that I mean how I would describe it( the language). But everytime I decide hey ill do this I cower away because either I'm too afraid something will happen or something is happening. And now in order for my parents to be convinced I have to go out there even when I feel I'm dying or feel like crap. That hurt when he told me that but he is right in a sense. Why should he care when I don't do anything for myself. I pray that what my dad told me sticks around to the days to come
Posted 6/26/2013 8:29 AM (GMT 0)
Wow! If I was that mature when I was 17 to see other people point of view I'd probably have done things a little different. You have a lot going for you, don't let anybody tell you otherwise!

Like Larry said you will surprise yourself!

PS: Sleeping OK, baby is due September so a few more months of "peace" lol, melatonin is sufficient for now but got a big bottle of benadryl in case. After September...can't say! ;-)
Posted 6/26/2013 10:59 AM (GMT 0)
Well I woke up to almost having a full blown panic attack today. I woke up it was getting hard to breathe and felt like my heart beat was like weak or something started to sweat and got up went to my dad room told him what was happening he kind of got mad and told me to go back the bed started shaking and then tried to calm myself. What I was thinking the whole time I'm going to die I need to get to a hospital and still feel I do but I can't get there anymore unless I really am dying.
Posted 6/26/2013 11:08 AM (GMT 0)
Have any of you had this experience before and if so what was it like by that I mean what did you feel physically and mentally
Posted 6/26/2013 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
Yup feel totally the same like I really need to go to the hospital. How do you feel now? Should be better right? Usually after something like that I feel much better! It's actually just a big adrenaline rush so once its over its over cause your body can only make so much adrenaline and then no more.

Let us know how you doin' with the CBT? If anything to talk to your parents about its CBT and taking this in your own hands.
Posted 6/26/2013 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
I feel better than I was I still have the knot feeling in my gut and still have some anxiety and some breathing difficulties but not nearly as bad as before. My dad had a talk with me and apologized for how he acted and understands that it ain't easy. And this Friday I have a therapist appointment and I'm gonna talk to her about potentially switching to that.
Posted 6/26/2013 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, and almost the same. My thoughts. It seems like to me when the subconscious see's us getting to a
point where we may actually make progress it intensifies it efforts to hold on to our consciousness. If you
can break the "fear" you are on the other side, you can expect that primitive part of ourselves to fight
like hell to stay dominant and keep us suppressed.

You have another Father you can turn to! Peace

Larry ***
Posted 6/26/2013 3:39 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Larry I missed your replies too. I'm trying my coping mechanisms and it isn't going to well because I'm not physically feeling it but I'm trying
Posted 6/27/2013 1:31 AM (GMT 0)
Jocipher,

Just finished reading this whole thread and going back and forth between "oh, no" and "oh, good!"

I'm glad that you and your dad kind of worked things out. I hope your therapy goes well.

Hang in there with trying to develop your coping skills. I'm not quite feeling mine yet, either, but they'll take some practice. You will figure it out - and think how proud your dad will be when you do and can show him some of your progress! :-D

I post on here too much too, friend - that's why I started reading this particular thread. :)
Posted 6/27/2013 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you BeRock I was just feeling like udder crap today idk I'm giving into my anxiety to easily it's on me right now. Idk I really hope this is just a wave
Posted 6/27/2013 3:10 AM (GMT 0)
It is a wave. No anxiety attack is going to last forever. As you deal with them, they will get easier.

Six years ago, about this time, I was sitting with my husband at the ER. His heart rate was around 180 and he had to be sedated. It was purely panic. Six years before that, he had never seen the inside of a restaurant. Today, he went grocery shopping and held my hand through a panic attack.

A few short years ago, he carried around a blood pressure cuff and took his bp & pulse 15-20 times a day. It hasn't been checked since he last saw the doctor several weeks ago.

I'm not trying to hijack your thread - I said all of this to say: Anxiety can make you believe it's "never" going to be better and that it's "always" going to be this way. Very few things in life are "never" or "always."

You can make it through this! You're a trooper and you have so many reasons to fight through it.

Yes, friend, this is just a wave. It will get better in time.
Posted 6/27/2013 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you BeRock one if my joys I get through these bad times is enjoying reading all of the wonderful posts on here and they are uplifting ill admit. This week has been bad I've had episodes of panic attacks with in a hour of each other although I didn't give in so they kept coming back and I have been very pessimistic today thinking only negative thoughts and death and fear. I'm going to get some meds tomorrow so please I ask for your prayer that I get through this night as well as the rest of the week and pray that the meds help:)
Posted 6/27/2013 3:27 AM (GMT 0)
You WILL get through this night and week. I'll pray that you get through them peacefully! I will also pray that the meds help. :)

Remember, the meds take a little while, so don't be too upset if you don't feel better immediately, okay?
Posted 6/27/2013 3:39 AM (GMT 0)
I wish I could remember what the name of it is but it's a small dosage and my doc told me it can be slightly addictive and she said once a day but I would only take it as needed because once a day doesn't sound good to me. Ill try to remember that but lately my anxiety symptoms just kept me in bed at least for most of today because I just didn't want to move because I was afraid something would happen and I didn't feel right and I am getting a knot feeling in my abdomen and flutters and tight chest and short breathing and sweating and all of this stuff at once it wasn't fun at all
Posted 6/27/2013 3:56 AM (GMT 0)
Be sure to make sure it is something you can do that with. Some medicines are effective that way, and others have to build up in your system to be effective...
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