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Posted 7/17/2013 8:01 PM (GMT 0)
Okay, so my therapist has been a little flighty since I started going. Twice before she has forgotten what time my appointment was, so I had to wait an hour once and 1 1/2 hours another time. Okay, whatever. My schedule on Wednesdays is kinda relaxed at work. Not the end of the world.

Today, though, I've been holding myself together until I could get there. Lots going on. Honestly, closer to the old depressive ways than pure anxiety. Anyway, I get there and there's a paper sign on the door that says closed till Wednesday at 8 a.m. Well, it's Wednesday, so I think she just forgot to take the sign down. I go in and sit down to wait. (theres no receptionist any time). Eventually, some guy comes out of the back and says that it's NEXT wednesday when'll she'll reopen. So I ask is she okay? something happen?

Oh, yeah, she's fine. She's moving her clinic to the city - where I can't drive!

There aren't any other counselors within a 60 mile radius of my house. Plus, I've already been through all of the explaining everything with her. And I liked her. I've got a freaking half-finished painting at my house that I was doing for her, specifically, based on some things she told me about herself.

So, I go into panic/crying like a baby, and I have nowhere to go other than out in public or back to work! I tried parking in a parking lot to have my little cry, but it's 96 here and my coworkers wouldn't appreciate the sweatiness. ha!

Back at work now..... have no idea what to do. I feel like I just lost every ounce of progress and took an additional step backward, because here's yet another person that I thought too much of too quickly who obviously doesn't give a CRAP about me.
Posted 7/17/2013 8:18 PM (GMT 0)
I hate poor professional behavior. I am so sorry this has happened to you! Take a few moments, and a step back. This will work out, eventually. But you have a right to be upset and angry, right now.

This is really poor behavior.
Posted 7/17/2013 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you. :)

Someone from her office just called and left a voicemail saying that she would come in to see me tomorrow if I wanted to and that she was still going to come in one day a week to see her regular patients. I don't know? I don't know if I'd be one of those patients since I didn't get a call to cancel the appointment in the first place.

I'm just hurt right now. Maybe I'll know later whether it's worth calling back...

Thank you for your support, Myself 09.
Posted 7/17/2013 8:29 PM (GMT 0)
Depends on how much you want to talk to her. I am not good at confrontation, but as a professional, she might deserve to know she has failed you. You ought to be allowed to validate what you are feeling, which is a big old rejection.

It has nothing to do with you, please realize that. She is just behaving unprofessionally. This is not your fault and it is not a rejection of you.

Boy, I am angry at her.
Posted 7/17/2013 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
Ok Sugar listen to the Old man. You are allowing yourself to be hurt
by the actions of someone who is totally dedicated to their self.
You are expecting others to react/respond to given situations with the same dedication to duty/responsibility that you do. Hell kid these are just normal people I don't know anyone who can function at the same level you do, you may be too humble to admit it but you are like a bionic woman, you multi task, I can't even read as fast as you write. Now that being said your right, she's a little scatter brained, but you are not. Take the high ground some day you will have her in a therapy room and you can say "well how do you feel about that"
You function better in a kaleidescope of frenzy than most people do
on Jim Beam, "Bless your heart you are still trying to save the world and it just keeps resisting"! I Love You but you need to shrink your world of responsibility to your Family, Work, and a few
real Friends, let the rest of the lemmings run of the cliff into the ocean".
You are still going to be a Teacher, a good one, "don't do their homework for them". Peace and a message!
Larry ***
Posted 7/17/2013 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
BR.

:( I am really sorry that this happened. It sounds like she is trying to run her practice without inside support...and she needs it!!

I agree that this should not be taken personally, but it needs to be addressed...and you can then make your decision about what your next step should be.

I know how frustrating this must be, and it is important to be able to trust your therapist and feel important!

Let us know what you decide, and how it goes.

S.C.
Posted 7/17/2013 9:28 PM (GMT 0)
Ahh berock I'm better Sorry for your councilors unprofessionalism. I do hope everything works out.

Be well
Posted 7/17/2013 11:31 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you guys so much!

Larry, you flatter me while still being able to steer me a little straighter, thank you. :)

You guys are right - it shouldn't be taken personally. Except, I kinda did take it personally. And I realized that sitting in the parking lot when I left. Now, I'm in this spiral of analyzing myself on a whole new level - "Am I a stalker? Why was I making a gift for her?" Somewhere, I let myself forget that this was someone I was PAYING to listen to me, not a friend. Sigh...

All that said, I'm pretty sure I'm not going back. I don't think she's helped me all that much. I know it's only been 10 hours of therapy, but I was really expecting to be to the "getting better" part by now. Maybe I just have unrealistic expectations? Also, after three times of her forgetting my appointment, I think going there actually sets me up for more stress. It's been difficult to alot the time and money to myself, and I want to feel like my therapist takes that as seriously as I do, whether it's true or not.

I'm not going to confront her. I kinda want to just say, "That was pretty inconsiderate." However, then I'd be obsessed for... probably forever... about whether it hurt her feelings. Then again, I'm worried about the other patients. Surely I'm not the only one this completely threw? There's this sweet little girl who has her sessions before me, who always leaves with a puffy face and her dad drops her off outside and comes back about 15 minutes before the session's over. I hope she wasn't left there crying for 45 minutes or 1 hour 45 minutes. ugh.

I'm not sure how to move forward. There aren't any other counselors whose offices I can drive myself to, or who I can see on lunch break. :/
Posted 7/19/2013 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
My counselor called me personally this morning and apologized. She said she thought I said I wanted to wait a few weeks, which I had said at one point but then changed my mind. She kept saying it was totally her fault, but after talking to her, I think it was just a mis-communication.

I went in this afternoon for a session, and she actually stayed and talked with me until after 5 p.m.

Honestly, I think I just have formed an unhealthy attachment to her and therapy. She told me about a dozen times not to take any of that on myself, but I really do think it's mostly my fault.

I AM one of the patients she plans to continue seeing. I'm SO relieved. I can't believe what a spiral yesterday sent me into.
Posted 7/19/2013 5:02 AM (GMT 0)
Phew! Chalk it up to a misunderstanding...and put it behind you...no guilt!

Glad to hear that you will be able to continue with her!;)

S.C.
Posted 7/19/2013 5:05 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you! :D
Posted 7/20/2013 4:44 AM (GMT 0)
JB, Peace

Larry ***
Posted 7/20/2013 4:47 AM (GMT 0)
Peace to you, too, Larry!

Hugs! :)
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