Had a rough day

Hello everyone,

Its been awhile since I posted anything.mbut today was a rough day for me. I previoisly posted that I quit all meds in april and have been truing to do this all without any meds at all. I was on meds for 4 years. Went through a list of them before I found some that worked. Long story short I went through some craziness to find the calm and relaxing.

Since I have been off meds I have had a really hard time. I put on this fake face and smile and attitude to make it through the days at work. When i get home I dont have and energy or life left in me for my family.

When I fiest told my doctor I had quit all my meds cold turkey he was ipset witb me but supportive. Told me that I can do tjis but it would be hard. Well its been very hard. Harder than I every imagined. Being in a constant panic and doom set of mind is aggravating and depressing and takes a lot to deal with.

At first I had chest pains and went to the er thinking I had heart problems, after many test and finding out I was perfectly fine it eased my mind. Then I started getting head pains andnhave this constant fear that I have some serious brain problem. Doesnt help that I have a sinus infection so my head and face are extremely pressured feeling. i have also been so tense without meds that my neck, jaw and head are constantly feeling tight. My husband told me I have starting grinding and clenching my teeth at night also.

I have been wondering if this is worth gettingnoff the meds. I have read so many stories on here about people pooping out or having a really tough time with wiyhdrawals, so I figured I would get off the meds early.

So I go to the doctor today for reassurance thqt I have been doing good without my meds and all that nice stuff and after crying for 30 minutes and telling him how I have been feeling he ends up telling me he doesnt think I can do this without meds or counseling, prescribes me a few new meds that Im now afraid to take and is going to refer me to a counselor which I think would be helpful.

Im upset because I tjought my doc was behind me but now I feel like he is telling me I wont be ajle to do this. I have been through a lot the past few months and I dont want it to be for nothing.

The worst physical part of this all is that my mind feels so messed up. I feel like im in a fog and my health anxiety is through the roof which just makes everytuing worse. Every ache sends me into panic that something serious is wrong. I get so frustrated and catch myself crying and asking myself what has happened to me ? Why am I like this? When will I be normal again?

So to drag on but has anyone felt like this? Would anyone mind sharing theie experience of getting off meds?

Hi CM,

I am sorry that you are going through this tough time right now. It is dissapointing to not be where you want and need to be in your recovery.

Forgive me if I mentioned this before, and sound like a broken record...

...but I do believe that if you are going to give up one coping tool, you most likely will need to pick up another one.

Have you thought about therapy? I was never on any meds, so I can't say that I have the same experience exactly...but I can say that therapy helped me to get over my panic disorder, and to manage my anxiety well.

I hope that you can also find some self-help mechanisms that work for you. We have a bunch in our Resources here, but I found that going to my library, and chekcing out just about all of the books on A/P that I could find worked! I read through them, and took the information/helpful ideas that seemed applicable to me, and customized my own recovery plan. (through exercises, helpful information and activities suggested in the books)

Please know that whatever you ultimately decide to do...meds, or no meds, there is hope for feeling better in the future!

Keep talking with us.

S.C.

Sometimes it's just hard to beat it w/o meds if you've been on them for awhile. Withdrawal can be really tough. I have meds but take them as needed so really I don't take meds because right now I am beating it without them and it's working pretty well.
Best wishes
Jocipher