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Advice on becoming invisible? My jaw needs it

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Posted 7/27/2013 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
I decided today that I just need to put a disclaimer on my office door:

1. I work harder than I am expected to

2. I want everything to be perfect

3. I take everything personally

4. Sometimes I just need to cry

I'm dealing with it and that should be enough!

I had a severe panic attack while in the presence of the wrong people a few weeks ago. I am now 'on watch' at work because my bosses don't understand how I can say that I'm fine when it just appeared as if I had a seizure and was non-responsive for 10minutes. I was put on leave until cleared by a doctor. My psychiatrist cleared me that same day. So, on top of my already overly intense anxiety I am now avoiding the people I am supposed to report to. I really don't like when people see me as broken and I have not yet reconciled how to handle that. I know I have issues, and I am working on them. I just don't like when my anxiety overshadows everything I do everyday, that I am amazing at, and it becomes the only thing that is seen.

Sorry. I'm venting my insignificant frustration. Just having a hard time remembering that I am good at what I do when the people over me are focused on my anxiety. That outside focus is not helpful. I have a mouthgaurd that the dentist made for me because I clench my teeth - I crushed it last night (weird sensation, may have swallowed a few pieces). Not good.

Posted 7/27/2013 1:49 AM (GMT 0)
It doesn't help that this happened at work in front of people u see everyday! It's going to be hard to get over this but you can do it. Keep your chin up and keep thinking all those positive thoughts. A lot of people don't understand what happens when someone has an Anxiety Attack like you did and don't have the support they need. They just think it's all in "your" head when its not. It's an actual diagnosis. My family is supportive because in my situation (long story) they saw me at my worst. I probably should of gone to get help mentally but came straight home. At that point, I was so devastated I wasn't sure what to do. You will get over this. Are you seeking therapy or on Meds? I am on meds and probably will be the rest of my life.

Good Luck
Lisa
Posted 7/27/2013 3:15 AM (GMT 0)
Focus on your work, do not obcess about your work, just be the best you that
is possible without stressing, "everyone who lives is in some way broken"
Your good and you know it, you do not have to prove anything! Peace

Larry ***
Posted 7/27/2013 3:59 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Larry.

I'm not sure if I'm more frustrated that the panic attack happened before I could get away, or that I work in mental health and the big boss doesn't understand what a panic attack is. I'm breathing and moving forward. As far as not having to prove anything, I didn't feel like I needed to before but I do now - like I have to be super amazing to overcome what was witnessed.

I also have the added anxiety of having to explain to the dentist that I crushed through my mouthgaurd, and I need to do it soon or I'm afraid I will break my teeth while sleeping or driving.

Posted 7/27/2013 5:01 AM (GMT 0)
I really think that your sense of self and worth...especially where it comes to work is great!:)

I love how you realize that you do can amamzing job at your work.

Others know that as well just from witnessing you in action.

Try not to stress too much over this as it blows over, and it surely will in time.

Keep your thoughts postive, manage your anxiety to the best of your ability...and keep rockin' it out at work.;p

S.C.
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