Surgery on Thursday and afraid of anesthesia

i'm having my carpal tunnel surgery on Thursday and I know I won't be able to sleep that night and I will be so nervous that morning before.  ugh  my son who is 20 is taking me and he is a very calm, kid who will be irritated if I act nervous.  I can hide it well though.  see, I should be thinking more positive and not anticipating such negativity.  haha 

I don't think I've ever had the anesthesia - but maybe I have - it's propofal.  I had my tonsils out when I was 7 (i'm 43) and not sure they used it back then. I guess because I associate it with killing Michael Jackson even tho I know he abused it and used it way too long.  ha  I have a fear of not waking up or being allergic.  I work in the legal field so have seen lots of medical malpractice cases.  I have this fear of leaving my children behind.  it's really ridiculous because it's minor surgery. 

I need to chill.  then I worry about taking a klonopin beforehand even tho they told me it's ok because I worry it's too much in my system with the other stuff they give me.  haha  oh my I know.

I also have unrealistic fears of fighting it and having trouble breathing.  last time I was in a hospital setting, I watched my father die so it's probably I associate hospitals with death.  I need to get over it. 

I am, however, proud I am going through with it and face my fears.  like when I went ziplining lately when I was soooo scared to do it.  surgery doesn't sound fun but having your hand go numb all the time isn't fun either. 

I'm sorry you're facing so much fear!

Let me say first - good job for facing your fears and taking control of your health! You should be proud of yourself!

I'm glad Fox offered encouragement about the anesthesia, I don't know anything about it. lol

As far as irritating your son, he should be prepared to deal with you being nervous. Anyone would be.

And the hospital association, here's a thought. A couple of years ago, I stayed at the hospital with my cousin for several days after having her baby. In the mornings, when the nurses were doing intrusive things and she needed space (hers was not a normal situation), I would wander down to the nursery area. I'd sit with a copy of coffee there and look at my new baby cousin through the windows. I really grew to like drinking my coffee there, though. It's a place of celebration, of new life, of young couples hugging and giggling and proud grandparents taking pictures and older siblings being lifted to squish their little faces to the glass and see "their babies."

(At this hospital, the sick babies and the healthy babies are on different floors.)

I wonder, if you have to visit for pre-op or such, if you could wander to some of the happy places in the hospital?

Hospitals are a place of death sometimes. I've said too many goodbyes there. BUT, they're also a place of life - of new souls coming into the world. They're a place of healing, of new life, of new beginnings - like the new beginning you're going to find through this surgery.

Hugs to you, friend!

Thoughts and prayers going out to you HN!!!

Everything is going to go smoothly, so try not to let the nerves get the best of you...but you can e-mail me if you need to.:)

Let us know how you are doing soon!

S.C.